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Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
01 January 2035 @ 01:01 am
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Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction
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FANFICTION:

General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by writing date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Content/Warning Policy: 1) I am not consistent about warnings! I use them when I remember, for a few relatively broad categories of potentially problematic content, but if something is off-page, non-explicit, or generally backgrounded, I probably won't think to note it in the metadata. 2) The things I try to warn for are explicit sex, rape, murder, torture, cannibalism, incest, depression/suicide, familial dysfunction, and occasionally also societal dysfunction (aka dystopia). Sometimes I just slap a general content warning on all my fic for a given fandom and don't label each individual fic. I also don't generally warn for violence, unless the violence in a fic is dramatically out-of-step with the violence in its source canon. 3) I don't use any content rating system unless I'm posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I find movie-style ratings counter-intuitive when applied to written fiction, and not particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I already note in the metadata.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else (except Tumblr; fic content there is just a mirror of fic content here), read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, Daredevil (MCU), The Dark Is Rising, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(Currently includes: American Gods, An Ash-Blonde Witch, Arthurian Mythology, Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Captain America (MCU), Charlotte's Web, Code Geass, the Darkangel trilogy, Death Note, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Hamilton, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Howl's Moving Castle, Labyrinth, Lord of the Rings, Lucifer, Mad Max: Fury Road, Merlin, the Oz books, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Sailor Moon, Saiyuki, Seaward, Shakespeare, White Collar, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers and fusions under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them. Currently includes: the Anita Blake series, ASoIaF, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Black Jewels series, BtVS, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chronicles of Narnia, the Darkangel trilogy, The Dark Is Rising, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Ender's Game, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Hikaru no Go, Homestuck, Inception, the Indiana Jones movies, Leverage, Lucifer, MCU (various), Merlin, Naruto, the Oz books, Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek: AOS, Vorkosigan Saga, Welcome to Night Vale, and a couple other things that only appear in memes rather than actual fic.)

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ORIGINAL FICTION:

These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction

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My various bingo cards: Cotton Candy Bingo, Round One; Cotton Candy Bingo, Round Two; and Daredevil Bingo, Round One.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
09 December 2016 @ 05:12 pm
The bus ride down was uneventful, and arrived only 5 minutes late despite leaving Ithaca ~20 minutes late and not making up any time between Ithaca and Binghamton. Dad was waiting for me, and our drive to Madison was likewise uneventful.

I did another NYS tax training mini-course this afternoon, and will shortly change into nicer clothes for Mr. M's memorial dinner, which will start at 6pm.

Probably I will not get any writing done tonight, but perhaps tomorrow -- I don't have anything scheduled besides Susan's concert in the evening. (Well, and presumably laundry, but that's not nearly as much of a production when I don't have to haul two weeks of clothes and linens to a laundromat all at once. *wry*)

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Current Location: madison, nj
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
08 December 2016 @ 10:29 pm
1. Completed five more NYS tax training modules, go me. \o/

2. Bought a set of non-denominational holiday cards for next year so I won't have to worry about that next fall. It is always a bit of a struggle to find something that A) includes enough cards in the set, B) doesn't look hideous, and C) isn't ruinously expensive. I can get actual Christmas-themed ones every other year, since a set of twenty leaves me with a few leftovers, but I send cards to a few people who specifically aren't Christian and don't celebrate Christmas, so non-denominational is important.

3. Took recycling bins to the curb for pickup on Sunday night.

more items under the cutCollapse )

And now I should probably take some Benadryl and go to bed, because I have a long day tomorrow and I never sleep well the night before a trip.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: restlessrestless
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
08 December 2016 @ 02:35 pm
As always, here is the link to the current ficathon. Come and play! :)

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17.Collapse ) For silvr_dagger: Star Trek: AOS, Gaila/Uhura, code, written 12/6/16

systems analysis (225 words)

The code Gaila writes is designed to help complicated chunks of metal and ceramic machinery (i.e., starships) meet their design specs in the most efficient ways (i.e., not explode by accident), and the code Nyota writes is designed to help complicated chunks of biological machinery (i.e., people) talk to each other so they don't explode their own starships by accident either (and only explode other people's starships as an absolute last resort); which is to say, there's a certain amount of overlap despite most people's apparent confusion at hearing an engineer and a linguist swap technical advice along with innuendo and bilingual puns over lunch.

But this isn't what Gaila says when classmates ask her, in vaguely pitying tones, whether it's hard living with someone whose specialty is such a soft and fuzzy branch of science it might as well be in the humanities (which isn't even true, but engineers can be awfully blinkered, Gaila's learned). Instead, she just smiles and says, "Every person is like a new code problem, and I like hacking -- I'll try hacking you if you have a few hours to spare, and I bet even a brute-force attack on your firewalls will be pretty fun for both of us! -- but Nyota tells me her own variables and commands without forcing me to guess, and that's worth a lot."

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18.Collapse ) For reeby10: Any, any, for the glory, written 12/6/16

the ethics of duty (150 words)

"For the glory of Calormen, the glory of Tash!" Rabadash cries as he wheels around to face the unexpected reinforcements now pouring over the ridge and down into the meadow at Anvard's feet. Ilgamuth opens his mouth to echo the exhortation, but finds his voice caught stillborn in his chest by conscience: however glory may be defined, by the analyses of philosophers or the aphorisms of poets, he is sure this grubby piece of selfishness and revenge meets none of the criteria.

Nonetheless, an oath is an oath unto death, and although the shame of doing naught to stop this folly will weigh on him forever, to stand aside and leave his sworn brothers' backs unguarded would only compound his errors; in order to tally the cost of this day, they must first survive; and so he draws his sword and follows his prince into battle once again.

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Note: This snippet may or may not end up in "A Change of Season" whenever I finally get around to writing that story; until then, it can stand alone as a minor gap-filler for HHB, but it has more layers if you read it in conjunction with the rest of my Out of Season series.

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Read more...Collapse ) For runespoor7: Homestuck, Rose Lalonde or Rose/Kanaya, Rose being a huge nerd., written 12/6/16

truly an eloquent turn of phrase (225 words)

"I had a dozen sets of these when I was twelve," Rose says as she busily arranges magnetic words on the refrigerator door, "which I mostly used to write and annotate dreadfully pretentious drivel -- the annotations being a passive-aggressive response to the messages of praise and encouragement my mother used to leave beside my creations -- but I dare say I have a better muse these days; perhaps you'd do me the honor of judging whether my literary endeavors have likewise improved."

"Violets are purple, roses are gay, leaves embrace flowers, let's be a bouquet?" Kanaya reads, her tone hovering somewhere between sarcasm and utter bemusement; "I have an intense suspicion that I'm missing a potentially-mocking cultural reference, though as matespritship proposals go, I admit this is oddly charming, in much the same way that a concussed purrbeast wiggler incites tender pity; how could I possibly refuse?"

Rose presses a hand to her forehead and fakes a swoon into Kanaya's arms; "My goodness, darling, don't say such romantic things or I might be quite overcome with passion -- flowers are delicate, you know," she gets out in her most overwrought fake British accent before she can't keep a lid on her giggles any longer and tugs her girlfriend (or fiancée? Kanaya might have been joking, but Rose finds herself surprisingly taken with that idea) down to cuddle on their kitchen floor.

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20.Collapse ) For silvr_dagger: Inception, Mal & or / any, all that we see or seem, written 12/7/16

and, in parting from you now (200 words exactly)

"Hello, Mal," a voice says as she dies, and suddenly the pain is... not gone, precisely, but held aside for a moment, long enough for a conversation and a choice: to move on to wherever souls go when their mortal bodies shatter, or to step sideways and serve as consultant and artist for a world she's seen flickering at the edges of her own, magic curled warily around newfangled science, irrationality woven for its own sake according to its own rules.

Dom still lives; she sees him screaming silently down from the hotel window, eyes wild and hand outstretched as if he could reel back time with only his fingers and his fear; he will eat his own heart with guilt and grief.

"You will play the role that is given to you," the Dream King warns, "and it may not be as his protector," but the choice is no choice at all, and he pays her the respect of assuming she knows her own mind and hushes the raven at his shoulder when it opens its beak to attempt dissuasion; and so Mal takes her new lord's colorless hand and gives the whole of herself over to dreams forever.

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21.Collapse ) For silvr_dagger: Inception/Sandman crossover, Ariadne & Morpheus or Daniel, forgive us our trespasses, written 12/7/16

for thine is the kingdom (300 words exactly)

"Do you mind that we grab pieces of your realm and twist them around for mercenary purposes?" Ariadne asks as she and the pale stranger sit on the tattered, rose-gold edge of a cloud and watch a flock of bats with paint rollers slap a Van Gogh sunset across the scaffolded sky; "I mean, we love your world -- I've never met anyone in dreamwork who wasn't at least halfway addicted to creating a dozen new impossible things on each new job, no matter how down-to-earth they try to present themselves -- but even so, it seems rude and I'm sorry that I can't honestly promise I'd stop if you asked."

"You tell stories, which are always and ever their own justification," the pale stranger says; "I will make the same bargain with you that I have made with all those in your trade: so long as you bring no dreams physically into the waking world--" ("I don't think the PASIV works that way," Ariadne says) "--or humans physically into my realm--" ("I really don't think the PASIV works that way," Ariadne says, before adding, sotto voce, "more's the pity") "--then I have no immediate quarrel with you, and will inform you before taking hostile action should you ever infringe on the natural operation of my realm and the minds temporarily under my care; do you accept those terms?"

"I do, and thank you, your majesty," Ariadne says, and as the dream world fades around her, washed away by the warmth of morning light across her pillow, the scent of Yusuf frying eggs in the kitchen, and the sound of Arthur and Eames arguing cheerfully over their next job options, she hopes her training will let her remember more than a melancholy smile and a fading sense of absolution when she wakes.

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22.Collapse ) For runespoor7: Naruto, Naruto/Sasuke/Sakura, I think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people and we've suffered enough, written 12/8/16

a soft epilogue (200 words)

Naruto and Sasuke grab Sakura before she completely exhausts her chakra, and whisk her away to... she's not sure where, really, just that it's warm and clean and has the most comfortable bed she's ever encountered in her life (though that may be mostly the exhaustion talking -- or the two bodies wrapped up around her like living blankets).

"We should set an alarm for--" she starts to say through a jaw-cracking yawn, but can't make herself finish the thought; there are a thousand and one things still to do now that the world hasn't ended after all, and on any other day she'd ration out the minimum amount of sleep before diving right back in to work, but right now all she wants is to stay here forever with the people she loves and trusts most in the entire universe -- and who love and trust her in return.

"Never mind, go back to sleep," Sakura manages in response to Naruto's questioning noise and Sasuke's vague grope toward whatever weapon he has hidden under one of the pillows, and lets herself sink into the whirlpool of dreams, safe in the certainty that finally, finally, they've reached a chance to build a kinder life, together.

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More in a few days, probably. :)

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: coldslightly chilly
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
05 December 2016 @ 10:59 pm
I harvested my good luck peppers on Sunday night -- are they not the most gorgeous colors??? Anyway, I chopped them up and stored them overnight (along with a storebought green pepper and three medium-small onions). Then I made a batch of fajita filling tonight, using a 1.5lb chunk of beef my mom gave me a few months back, since she thinks beef costs too much in Ithaca compared to NJ. (I think she's kind of ridiculous, but I'm not about to turn down free meat.)

My remaining four pepper plants are continuing to hang out on my kitchen table. The Lazarus pepper still has four tiny buds, but I'm not sure if they're ever going to grow, let alone bloom. The decapitated pepper's fruits are starting to go worryingly squishy again; I may have to harvest them soon without waiting for them to ripen. The repotted pepper, on the other hand, is ripening nicely -- the color is spreading from the bottom up, so the fruit looks like it's slowly roasting over a flame. It is a pretty cool effect. :) And the pepper on the plant that lost an entire branch to squirrels is just kind of... hanging there, neither going squishy nor turning red. I'll give it another week or two and see what happens.


four peppers in terracotta or plastic pots on a kitchen table
1) four peppers, Monday, 5 December 2016


a small pepper plant . two small bell peppers with human fingers for scale
2) the Lazarus pepper, cheerfully green
3) the decapitated pepper, whose fruits have gone worryingly squishy again


one bell pepper,turning red, with human fingers for scale . another bell pepper with human fingers for scale
4) the repotted pepper, ripening from the bottom up
5) the pepper that lost an entire branch to squirrels, just kind of chilling


two red bell peppers on a cutting board with a human hand for scale . red bell pepper pieces in a plastic container
6) my good luck peppers, harvested on Sunday, 4 December 2016
7) my good luck peppers, chopped up for temporary storage


sliced beef, onion, and red and green bell pepper in a frying pan
8) and this is what I used them to cook: beef fajita filling :)


[[original Tumblr post, for when the embedded images inevitably break]]

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
05 December 2016 @ 01:42 pm
As always, here is the link to the current ficathon. Come and play! :)

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11.Collapse ) For celeste9: X-Men comics, Emma/Scott, rough edges, written 12/2/16

at the broken places (150 words)

Emma's jagged edges don't quite match up to Scott's own wounds; what shattered her, he might have survived with fewer scars, and the blows that tore him to shreds over the years might have found less purchase in her mind and heart. Some days he hates the way they miss each other's more idiosyncratic tripwires and scrape each other raw, the way he lost the ability to just be with a lover somewhere between Apocalypse and Jean's last death and therefore can't help Emma learn that alchemy of warmth and grace.

Other days, he thinks maybe they're stronger because of those flaws; you get back from a relationship what you put in, after all, and if he and Emma haven't yet learned comfort, they haven't learned complacency either, and Scott will trade almost anything up to his soul (...and maybe even that) to keep from losing another person he loves.

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12.Collapse ) For celeste9: BtVS, Buffy/Faith, liberated, written 12/2/16

won't take this lying down (175 words)

"Y'know, B, the nineteenth century's not your best look," Faith said, interrupting Buffy's sulk over the news that Spike had come back to life and neither he nor Angel had seen fit to pass on news of this development; "Say it with me: 'I'm a liberated modern woman and I don't need no fuckin' man.'"

Buffy rolled her eyes and shot back, "Yes, Faith, I am in fact aware that it's the twenty-first century, and it's not like I was even holding out for--" only to squeak in shock as Faith leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Buffy's mouth (with tongue! uninvited! ...but pretty smooth actually) until Buffy's body gave up waiting for input from her brain and started to respond enthusiastically on its own.

Then Faith pulled back (the cheater, not finishing what she started), murmured, "I didn't say you might not need a fuckin' woman, though; look me up once you reboot," and sauntered off like she hadn't just upended Buffy's self-image and reframed years of their prior interactions.

Oh, this meant war.

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13.Collapse ) For iawenbemerry: X-Men (preferably movieverse but doesn't have to be), Scott/Jean, the moments no one else sees, written 12/2/16

the golden age of the barefoot time (275 words)

Scott and Jean have a standing monthly weekend date -- sometimes adjusted on account of crises, but always kept -- where they leave the mansion for a full twenty-four hours, disappearing from one evening to the next.

The general consensus among the students is that they go out for a fancy dinner, and maybe sex (opinions are split between super vanilla and super kinky) in a swanky hotel down in the city where they can be sure no mutant senses (noses, ears, brains) will disturb their privacy; a few hold out for more cerebral things like visits to museums and other cultural interest spots (on the theory that thinking of teachers and sex in the same sentence is gross and also, seriously, Scott and Jean are just that boring); and one or two have even suggested that the Professor lends out two of his best and brightest to the CIA on timeshare in order to keep the school under the rest of the government's radar.

Jean takes great delight in recounting these theories to Scott, who then takes equal delight in planting new rumors, both of them secure in the knowledge that nobody will ever guess they use their jealously guarded days of freedom to beat each other over the head with feather pillows, eat dessert for dinner and then again for breakfast, rent all the children's movies they never got to see, spend hours petting cats at animal shelters, and generally indulge in the idyllic, archetypal childhoods that they both lost too soon, and which they will give their lives to make sure their own students can hold on to as long as they possibly can.

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14.Collapse ) For silvr_dagger: Narnia, Jadis/Susan, pomegranates, written 12/4/16

the iron queens (350 words)

A light kindled, impossibly, in the eternal cold and dark of Narnia after the end, and the tattered remnants of she who had once been Jadis (for no witch ever truly dies, especially not one who has tasted the apple of immortality, and the Lion had known this when he shut the stable door) drifted toward the blue-white fire, compelled by the circle and the ancient rite she herself had carved into the flesh of this world at its birth; "You," she snarled as she coalesced, and saw the shape of her summoner.

"Me," agreed Susan Pevensie, who had dared to steal Jadis's throne and think herself a queen, standing untouched by the killing cold despite the sheerness of her silk dress; "I have come under my own power and in my own name, not that of the Lion, to offer you a chance at redemption -- for those who turn away from warmth and light need not be cast forever into darkness, nor do I think love of the Lion a necessity to love of life or the ability to be and do good in the world -- and therefore I have brought a taste of summer to break the walls of this your prison and offer you a thread you may grasp to follow me back into the myriad worlds," she said, and her hands, when she held them out across the bounds of her protective circle, were filled with a red like blood, or rubies, but this fruit was no apple with its all-or-nothing absolutes: a pomegranate, rather, which spoke of bargains and balance, a personal interest on the part of the one who offered to the one who ate, and perhaps even the chance at a throne shared rather than claimed by force and held armed against all comers; Jadis had dreamed of such impossibilities once.

The juice of the apple had been bitter as gall and cool as the first snow of winter; this, bursting slow and rich across Jadis's tongue, solidifying her body with its memory of summer sun and flower-laden winds, was sweet.

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15.Collapse ) For anonymous: Inception, Arthur/Ariadne, stargazing, written 12/5/16

written on the arched sky (275 words)

Their latest job involved a maze in a planetarium ("Why a planetarium?" Ariadne had asked, to which Eames had smiled annoyingly and said, "A memory of first loves fumbling illicitly in the dark, sweetheart, makes an excellent atmosphere for digging out any current sexual indiscretions -- and don't ask me how I know the mark brought her boy here while she was meant to be running the projector; a man needs a few secrets, after all.") and Arthur had insisted on being the dreamer once he'd heard the rough draft of Eames and Ariadne's extraction plan.

When she slipped into the dream maze to see if it needed any last minute adjustments and saw the star projections Arthur had imagined, which he was sliding smoothly around the domed projection field as a narrator explained the reason different stars were visible in different seasons or at different latitudes, Ariadne realized why; "I could never hold all that steady enough to convince somebody who knows what it ought to look like; how are you managing?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around his waist; "Are there some illicit planetarium escapades in your past that I should know about?"

Arthur tugged her around until they were face to face, the glow of the projector striking gleams from his hair and casting his face in an otherworldly light, and said, halfway between wry and anticipatory, "It's possible there might have been, but let me make a suggestion: we have a subjective half hour before the dose runs out; instead of making me relive my embarrassing youth, wouldn't you rather try topping the memory?"

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16.Collapse ) For mermaids_feet: Homestuck, Any, Frogs, written 12/5/16

questionably intelligent design (150 words)

"You know," Jade said with a slightly distracted air as they watched Bilious Slick junior arrow toward its destiny, "I'm still not sure why it's frogs all the way down; I mean, yeah, they lay a lot of eggs and there's the metamorphosis symbolism, and they look very pretty in those big globes with the lily pads, but there must be better animals from a self-defense and general toughness standpoint, not to mention ones that take a more active interest in raising their young, which you'd think might be relevant from a universe-propagation standpoint -- and you don't even have to sacrifice the 'lays lots of eggs' factor very much to get those benefits."

"I confess zoology of the non-cryptid type was never my strong point," Rose said, "but you sound like you have a specific alternate animal in mind; why not enlighten us as to its name?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe alligators."

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More to follow at some point, probably. :)

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
02 December 2016 @ 10:58 pm
1. Took (and passed) the exam for Tuesday's Not the IRS continuing education course, go me!

2. Brought old newspapers home from the rental office to use in a project I am doing that will become Mom's Christmas present (or maybe her birthday present; we'll see how labor-intensive it winds up being).

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12. Wrote thirteen Three Sentence Ficathon fills. (Okay, technically two of those were on Tuesday, but whatever, I only mentioned one of them in my last 'stuff done' post so I am using this post to make an accurate count of my productivity thus far for the entire ficathon.)

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: mellowmellow
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, I was reading through some of my old journal entries and I came across the following comment of mine, which I am going to quote here in slightly truncated and edited form:

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Yeah, that weird cultural sex-is-worse-than-violence skew is one of my main reasons for considering ratings pointless. The other is that those ratings are aimed at an audiovisual medium, and are therefore maladapted for a textual medium. Like, if I show you a clip of a person shooting someone else point blank in the head, that's pretty gory and upsetting and should presumably get a relatively high rating. But I can write something like this:

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"So be a good girl, and drop the gun." Joe smirked again, like he had every option closed off and she had no choice except to play along.

Leah shot him, point blank, and threw up her arms to ward off the backspatter of blood and other things. Then she hurled herself into the cover of the overturned minivan and hoped Fatima would have time to run before Joe's goons inevitably killed her.


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and move blithely along giving you no further details, and while that's not a nice scene, it's not so graphic that I feel a need to slap a huge warning on the fic as a whole if that's the worst thing that happens. Ditto sex: showing our heroines from the previous snippet getting hot and heavy onscreen is a lot different from saying:

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Leah and Fatima fell onto the sheets, fingers slipping on buttons and zippers in their haste to pull off each other's clothes and press skin to skin in desperate confirmation that they were still alive.

"Oh god," Leah panted into Fatima's shoulder, between sloppy, open-mouthed kisses against the crook of her neck, "I thought I'd lost you, I thought--"

"I know," Fatima said. "I know. But you didn't," and her hand finally slipped under the waistband of Leah's jeans and pressed up against the damp cotton of Leah's panties.

Leah sobbed with relief and did her best to reciprocate the favor.


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and then cutting the scene and jumping to next morning. You know? Like, that little snippet is not something parents would necessarily want preteen kids reading, but it's hardly what I'd call graphic, not to mention that it's really easy to skim past text in a way one can't replicate with audiovisual media.

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I suddenly have an intense need to read the rest of the story that connects those two excerpts. Alas, it does not currently exist and probably won't ever exist unless I write it. Perhaps in 2017...

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
02 December 2016 @ 04:35 pm
Landlord Dude arrived at 10am, looked at the light, said words to the general effect of 'yeah, that's about what I expected,' opened the fixture with great struggle (it is not quite properly aligned, somehow), extracted one bulb for comparison shopping purposes, drove off to the local specialty lighting store (yes, there is such a thing), came back and installed the newly purchased replacement bulbs, and closed up the fixture with more struggle.

Meanwhile I raked four bags of leaves from the back yard and driveway, which he duly loaded into his truck and took home to mulch his garden.

Success all around, I'd say. :)

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
02 December 2016 @ 04:24 pm
As always, here is the link to the current ficathon. Come make and fill prompts! The more people who play, the more fun for everyone (and the more chance you'll find fandoms that interest you). :D

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5.Collapse ) For silvr_dagger: Any, any, siren song, written 11/30/16

madly, deeply (150 words)

Foggy wonders, sometimes, if he was born with wax in his metaphorical ears, something that keeps him from hearing the siren songs that rule his best friends' lives: justice, vengeance, unvarnished truth, a million other shades of poison. He doesn't feel it's a flaw -- anyone who claims to welcome the disasters and heartache that Matt and Karen's respective obsessions lead them into is both crazy and lying -- but now and then he looks at his normal ambitions and modestly comfortable life and wonders if he's missing some kind of high (personal, social, whatever) along with the obvious lows, because his friends have made it abundantly clear that some vital spark in their hearts will wither and die unless they're free to dive headfirst into the treacherous waters they love.

He just wishes he could teach them to find joy on the steady shore (in safety, with him) instead.

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6.Collapse ) For deceivepolyps: great (misfire prompt), written 11/30/16

on the internet, nobody can do your emotional labor for you (200 words)

"Jaaaaaade," Dave drawled as he leaned against the back of the sofa, draping his arms over Jade's shoulders and resting his chin on her head, "I demand clarification of your response to my dinner invitation extravaganza; what do you mean by just writing 'great' without any context; don't you know you're not supposed to leave your words naked; they need punctuation and emojis to create the illusion of tone save me from having to do hard emotional interpretation labor; I'm no good at emotional labor, Jade, have pity."

"Nobody's good at emotional labor when they start out, but I learned how to interpret your writing without punctuation and emojis," Jade said cheerfully, a faint green light beginning to limn her form in warning of imminent teleportation; "Suck it up and deal, mister, or Karkat and I will go on our own private dinner date extravaganza while you loll around in abject despair over your inability to take words at face value."

"Great," Dave said into the minor rush of air that accompanied her departure, "real smooth, genius; you oughta borrow Jane's fedora for that move," and resigned himself to Karkat's inevitable laughter when Jade pulled the story out over dessert.

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7.Collapse ) For recessivejean: The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Cimorene (& anyone), unnecessarily complicated walk in the woods, written 11/30/16

a real magic (225 words)

"Mendanbar, I don't mean to interrupt, but the forest does know I'm only a member of the royal family by marriage, and therefore unable to handle big problems by waving my hands and wishing very hard, right?"

Mendanbar glanced briefly up from the accounts he was reviewing (under orders from Cimorene, which he had protested mostly for show; he was perfectly well aware they were important, and anyway reviewing accounts someone else had drawn up was much less frustrating than trying to create them himself), smiled, returned to his papers... and then looked back properly at the train of princesses, knights, talking animals, and various other complications that had somehow found his wife on what was meant to be a short walk to see the spiral dance of levitating boulders that an artistically inclined witch had spelled into place two hundred years ago, and had then followed her back to the castle (incidentally tramping mud all through the corridors; Willin was going to pitch a fit).

"I think the forest may be throwing problems at you because it knows you have the common sense to solve them instead of waving your hands and wishing them away," Mendanbar said, wryly, as he rose to help sort out the inevitable chaos, "but I'll have a word with the sword tomorrow and we'll see if that helps."

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8.Collapse ) For celeste9: MCU, Clint/Natasha/Laura, whatever works, written 11/30/16

just as long as we're together (225 words)

"I am so sorry, Nat," Laura said as she stared at the charred ruins of the turkey; "I wanted to give you a perfect introduction to American holiday traditions, but apparently I should have spent more time bugging my mom in the kitchen than bugging my dad in the garage when I was a kid, since apparently cooking is not nearly as close to engineering as baking is."

Clint dropped a cheer-up kiss on her forehead and heaved the useless, smoking avian corpse into the sink; "The pie's still fine," he said, "and there's always takeout Chinese, which is actually more traditional in my family than any fancy home-cooked meal."

Natasha's kiss landed on Laura's nose, then slid teasingly down just to the corner of her mouth before Nat pulled back with a smile and said, "I've eaten turkey -- my trainers were very thorough about cultural details -- and while I appreciate the effort, I have to say I'd prefer egg rolls."

Laura sighed and let her husband and lover pull her toward the basket of takeout menus that sat in mocking splendor at the end of her kitchen counter; probably this disaster had always been inevitable, and if nothing else she'd have a funny story to tell someday (in carefully redacted form), but in the meantime, she had an argument over appropriate spice levels to mediate.

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Note: Yes, I know that one is four sentences. Shush.

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9.Collapse ) For mermaids_feet: Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton/Any, Bachelor AU, written 12/1/16

would smell as sweet (125 words)

"I'm not supposed to warn you, Alex, but I care too much to make you be gracious extemporaneously," Angelica murmured into Alexander's ear, the wild curls of her hair disguising the movement of her lips from the ever-present cameras; "I'm going to give John Church my last rose tonight instead of you -- and don't try to change my mind, because I have something so much better in store for you."

For once wordless, Alexander could only hope she correctly interpreted the code of his eyelashes as he blinked away his disappointment and confusion.

He shouldn't have worried; they were in sync as always, though equally as always, Angelica managed to surprise him when she said, between another series of kisses, "Let me tell you about my sister Eliza."

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Note: The Bachelorette is functionally the same idea, right...? :)

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10.Collapse ) For silvr_dagger: Any, any, sunlight and shadow, written 12/2/16

under a bushel (125 words)

Eliza would say she's spent her life in shadows, effortless outshined by first Angelica and then Alexander as they stride forth in the strength of their convictions. They try to convince her otherwise, tell her again and again that she's the sun itself that brings light into their worlds and lets them flourish unafraid, but the sun, she thinks, should be bold and free and effortlessly visible in the world, not happily veiled and distracted by the curtains and concerns of her domestic life.

When they die, first Alexander and then Angelica, Eliza clothes herself in black, but instead of dousing her light she throws open all her windows and doors and begins to shine for the world as she always shone in their eyes.

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Eventually I will get these up on AO3.

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