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Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
01 January 2035 @ 01:01 am
Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction


General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by writing date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Content/Warning Policy: 1) I am not consistent about warnings! I use them when I remember, for a few relatively broad categories of potentially problematic content, but if something is off-page, non-explicit, or generally backgrounded, I probably won't think to note it in the metadata. 2) The things I try to warn for are explicit sex, rape, murder, torture, cannibalism, incest, depression/suicide, familial dysfunction, and occasionally also societal dysfunction (aka dystopia). Sometimes I just slap a general content warning on all my fic for a given fandom and don't label each individual fic. I also don't generally warn for violence, unless the violence in a fic is dramatically out-of-step with the violence in its source canon. 3) I don't use any content rating system unless I'm posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I find movie-style ratings counter-intuitive when applied to written fiction, and not particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I already note in the metadata.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else (except Tumblr; fic content there is just a mirror of fic content here), read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, Daredevil (MCU), The Dark Is Rising, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(Currently includes: American Gods, An Ash-Blonde Witch, Arthurian Mythology, Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Captain America (MCU), Charlotte's Web, Code Geass, the Darkangel trilogy, Death Note, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Hamilton, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Howl's Moving Castle, Labyrinth, Lord of the Rings, Lucifer, Mad Max: Fury Road, Merlin, the Oz books, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Sailor Moon, Saiyuki, Seaward, Shakespeare, White Collar, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers and fusions under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them. Currently includes: the Anita Blake series, ASoIaF, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Black Jewels series, BtVS, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chronicles of Narnia, the Darkangel trilogy, The Dark Is Rising, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Ender's Game, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Hikaru no Go, Homestuck, Inception, the Indiana Jones movies, Leverage, Lucifer, MCU (various), Merlin, Naruto, the Oz books, Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek: AOS, Vorkosigan Saga, Welcome to Night Vale, and a couple other things that only appear in memes rather than actual fic.)



These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction


My various bingo cards: Cotton Candy Bingo, Round One; Cotton Candy Bingo, Round Two; and Daredevil Bingo, Round One.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: calmcalm
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
25 October 2016 @ 04:46 pm
Pepper update! They are all alive. For more info, please read the captions under the photos. (I have also made a backdated post for 10/17, which is now unlocked.)

nine peppers on a porch
nine peppers, Monday, 24 October 2016

buds on a small pepper plant in a terracotta pot . a tiny pepper fruit with a human finger for size reference . three tiny pepper fruits with a human finger for size reference
1) the Lazarus pepper, preparing to bloom
2) the extensively nibbled pepper, just starting to fruit
3) the decapitated pepper with THREE tiny peppers (one is glitchy; I may kill it to help the others)

one bell pepper with a human finger for size reference . one bell pepper with a human hand for size reference . another bell pepper with a human hand for size reference
1) the replanted pepper in the green plastic pot
2) the slightly waterlogged pepper
3) the pepper that lost an entire branch

one bell pepper with a human hand for size reference . two bell peppers with a human hand for size reference . two more bell peppers with a human hand for size reference
1) the sideways pepper on a damaged branch
2) the two other peppers on the damaged branch
3) and the peppers that have sailed through the summer entirely unscathed

I intend to bring them indoors Tuesday night, since the temperature is predicted to dip below freezing in the wee hours of Wednesday morning. I may then keep them inside until Thursday, since Wednesday won't get much about 40F and will head right back down to freezing overnight.

[[original Tumblr post, for when the embedded images inevitably break]]

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: calmcalm
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
mix of ground beef, bell pepper, and onion in a large frying pan

I cooked ground beef fajita filling again tonight, this time with an Ortega seasoning packet. The flavor is better (and the texture much less gritty) than the store-brand packet I used the last time I did this, but I ended up having to play spice doctor anyway.

You see, the assumption is that Americans don't eat vegetables. This packet therefore instructed me to use 1lb of meat, one small onion, and one bell pepper. I duly used 1lb of meat, but because I do believe in vegetables, I used three small-to-medium onions and the equivalent of two bell peppers: one big store-bought plus three of my own small homegrown peppers. The seasoning packet just flat wasn't big enough to provide adequate flavor to the enlarged ingredient base. So I chucked in some ground chili pepper, some cumin, some garlic powder, and some oregano to stretch the packet, cooked the whole mess another five-ten minutes to let the flavor sink in, and then dumped most of it into tupperware for future meals.

I am happy to report that the small portion I ate tonight (with shredded cheddar, of course; cheese is important!) tasted lovely, though it probably could have stood even more supplemental spicing. :)

(I also cooked a batch of rice, which is now packaged and cooling in the fridge. I will freeze one of the containers and use the other as starch under a chicken thing I'm still working to finish off, which will probably make another two or three meals.)

[[original Tumblr post, for when the embedded image inevitably breaks]]

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: fullfull
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
Late yesterday evening, I started to hear a faint and intermittent humming noise. It sounded mechanical/electrical, sort of like a motor or fan trying to rev up but cutting out after a few seconds, and it was perceptible as much in the back of my teeth as in my actual ears. I could not make out its source.

When I came home from work this evening, the humming noise was still going strong, though just as intermittently as before. I actually got up and walked around my apartment a few times to see if I could pinpoint its source, but no joy.

At this point I should mention that Friday and Saturday have been fairly windy here in Ithaca -- an irregular, gusty sort of wind, accompanied by buckets of rain until partway through Saturday afternoon, after which things slowly began to dry.

Anyway, after being vaguely annoyed by this untraceable humming noise for several hours, it occurred to me that if I did some obligatory grocery shopping (*cough* Halloween candy *cough*) tonight rather than putting it off until I had more items on my list, I could probably wrangle a ten-cent per gallon gas discount via my store loyalty card. So at approximately 10pm, I stepped out the front door of my house with my car keys in hand.

There was a strong gust of wind. The humming noise came back, much louder than before.

This time it was accompanied by a sort of snapping hiss, and a small flare of light, and I looked up and realized that one of the electrical wires that run along my street had worn through its insulation and was making a valiant attempt to set my neighbors' tulip tree on fire every time the wind pushed it in the right direction.


I called 911, since I don't have the numbers for either the fire department or NYSEG. The 911 dispatcher sent the fire department out, their truck arrived just as the wire scraped the tree and sent up another flare of flame and sparks, and the firefighters kind of sighed and went, "Yeah, that's not good. But don't worry; we've got this."

I did not stick around to watch -- I had that grocery run to make, after all -- but when I came back about 25 minutes later, they had put a patch on the damaged wire, wrapped both it and another too-close-to-the-tree wire in those funny extra insulation sheaths you see sometimes, and were just packing up to leave. Presumably somebody (NYSEG, I'd assume) will have to do a more permanent fix at some point, but at least there is no immediate danger of either a massive tree bursting into flame or a live wire down in the street.

I think I have done my civic duty for the week and would like to ask the universe to not throw anything else at me for a while, please and thank you.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
21 October 2016 @ 10:07 pm
Mom drove up to Ithaca today to collect Dottie, so as of about 3:30pm I no longer have a dog. Woe!

On the other hand, I have a lot more available time now. Pets are wonderful, but they eat time like nobody's business.

Anyway, we went out for lunch at the Heights Cafe, a restaurant we hadn't yet been to (discovered via a listing of pretty much every restaurant in the greater Ithaca area, which was published in a recent-ish issue of the Ithaca Time and which I duly saved and took down to NJ for Mom's use), which turned out to be both pretty easy to get to and a place we think Aunt Cara would like, and which we may therefore end up visiting again on either the Tuesday or Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

(We are doing Thanksgiving at my place again this year. That pattern began several years ago for perfectly sound logistical reasons, but I have a feeling that this repeated confluence of work schedules and transportation options means that I have accidentally 'inherited' Thanksgiving, whereas Vicky's the one who will 'inherit' Christmas if and when our parents get tired of hosting it. We've done Christmas at Vicky's place twice now (once in Spain, once in DC), but she's never hosted Thanksgiving and I've never hosted Christmas. I'm still gonna make Vicky do all the Thanksgiving cooking, though, while I handle the cleanup and leftover-packaging work. That split ends up making everybody happier than if we tried to split the work 'evenly' or I cooked while she cleaned.)

We also went to Michael's (an artsy-craftsy supply chain) to buy some gold paint and paintbrushes, so I can attempt to touch up the frames of some old pictures my parents inherited from my paternal grandmother. This would be by way of a Christmas present to Mom, who doesn't want to do the work herself.


The reason I had Dottie this time is because Mom and Dad compressed a ridiculous number of home renovations into a single two-week period and for obvious reasons could not have a dog around for any of it. (In fact, they couldn't have themselves around for the second half, and duly drove down to DC to visit Vicky, Aunt Jan, and Uncle Charles & Aunt Ji-lan.)

The first week, they had several ceilings repaired and replastered, had the massive hole in the living room wall repaired and replastered (the hole being a side-effect of a water pipe fix from earlier this year), had the hideous wallpaper in the stairwell stripped and destroyed (which should have been done thirty years ago, and I am not exaggerating that time period in the slightest), and then had the entire downstairs plus the stairwell and the main upstairs hallway repainted. The second week, they had the wood floors of the dining room, living room, staircase, and upstairs hallway stripped and refinished, because they were beat all to hell, aka ugly as fuck and a bit splintery in places besides.

So now they are slowly moving furniture back into its normal locations, and also trying to decide what they want to do with regard to carpets and/or area rugs. I think they have decided against wall-to-wall carpeting, but I will be curious to visit at Christmas and see what they've done with the place.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
21 October 2016 @ 04:25 pm
Obviously I fed and walked Dottie every day; take that as read. :) Beyond that, though...

1. Confirmed the two days I am swapping with my coworker. (Hmm. Miss Cactus, maybe? Not for any personality reasons; she just grows a lot of succulents as a hobby.) Also wrote down my vacation day schedule for November and December, and passed it on to Mom for use in family holiday planning.

more items under the cutCollapse )

I also got through several chapters of rereading for my Yuletide assignment, and am noticing all kinds of layers to the work in question that I missed on my first two times through. (The first time, it's because the cover art and back cover text gave me slightly misaimed expectations of what type of story I was in for, and I was hurrying ahead to reach elements that never really appeared the way I thought they were going to. The second time I think it's just that I was relatively young and therefore lacking in a certain sense of perspective, and also that I wasn't reading with a specific eye out for details because I was not intending to use it as source material for fanfic.)

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: lethargiclethargic
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
19 October 2016 @ 05:39 pm
I am debating whether I want to bother updating my resume tonight (and printing several copies at the library tomorrow because I have not yet gotten around to buying new ink for my stupid printer) in order to attend a job fair in Cortland tomorrow afternoon. I mean, on the one hand networking is good and it would be really sweet if I could land a full-time job. On the other hand, I am just really tired this week and I was looking forward to an afternoon chilling with Dottie on my lap while I get some solid rereading done for my Yuletide assignment -- not to mention I have only just been settling in to my current job and it feels weird to be trying to ditch it already.

Also tomorrow is meant to be very rainy and I don't like doing big go-out-and-people activities when it's raining. Rainy days are for being mellow. Job fairs are not mellow. (Useful! But about as far from mellow as I can imagine.)


I should update my resume on general principles anyway. I can decide about the job fair in the morning.

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: moodymoody
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
17 October 2016 @ 04:59 pm
First, the general overviews: all twelve pepper plants. The bottom left photo shows the three peppers whose fruit I have picked and which are now done for the year. The bottom right photo shows the peppers that still have fruit and/or flowers. I will probably toss the reproductively finished peppers onto the compost pile (and their dirt into the garden patch at the base of my back porch) sometime within the coming week, but I feel a little bad killing them out of hand even though there's no real point to them anymore. Peppers are not, after all, a perennial plant.

twelve peppers on a porch, left view . twelve peppers on a porch, right view
twelve peppers, Monday, 17 October 2016

2 more pictures under the cutCollapse )

The ultimate point of my pepper projects is, of course, to produce food. To that end, I have picked and chopped up two more peppers. In both cases, this was because they'd been nibbled by squirrels and those wounds were vectors for various infections by nasty gunk. I had to clean some black spots out of the interior of the first, larger pepper on Saturday, and I just cut the entire top off the smaller pepper Monday afternoon.

The baby was from the plant that got waterlogged by gutter overflow earlier in the summer. I am not sure exactly what went wrong, but its stem just shriveled up and the pepper itself went soft and funny. It was too small to bother saving, so I just chucked it into the compost bin.

one bell pepper with a hole near the stem . small bell pepper on a cutting board . chopped pepper pieces on a cutting board
1) the rain-catcher pepper on Saturday, 15 October 2016
2) close view of the damage
3) all cleaned and chopped

5 more photos under the cutCollapse )

And now for the fruit-and-flower spam. :) The first three photos are flowers and flowers-becoming-fruit. The next six are just pepper fruits. (The water droplets, incidentally, are because it rained heavily last night and today was cloudy so evaporation was quite slow.)

small pepper plant with unopened buds . withering pepper flowers . tiny bell pepper with human finger for scale
1) the Lazarus pepper, still working on its buds
2) an extensively nibbled pepper, just starting to turn flowers into fruit
3) the decapitated pepper, fruiting!!!

6 more photos under the cutCollapse )

[[original Tumblr post A, for when the embedded images inevitably break]]

[[original Tumblr post B, for when the embedded images inevitably break]]

[[original Tumblr post C, for when the embedded images inevitably break]]

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
14 October 2016 @ 10:22 pm
I think from now on, work is going to become one of the background events I don't bother to mention. Just take it as read that I am working three days a week unless I specifically say otherwise. :)

Anyway, the list!

1. Drove down to NJ on Saturday to pick up Dottie for another stint of dogsitting. Drove back on Sunday with the dog in tow. This time I remembered to bring Aunt Cara's present with me -- Mom had it sent to my apartment when she pre-ordered it, because the shipping date overlapped with one of their summer trips.

I have been feeding Dottie twice a day, walking her twice a day, and piddling her in the afternoon except on Tuesday when Upstairs Neighbor E took care of that for me so I didn't lose my lunch break at work.

more items under the cutCollapse )

14. Mixed a new batch of dental hygiene water for Dottie after the old one ran out today. I also made several new meal additive containers, by combining little blobs of frozen wet food with some of the pre-cooked vegetables Mom also sent along. At the moment, I am two containers short of what I will need to use before my parents pick Dottie up next Friday. I have a whole bunch more wet food blobs (Mom packed them in a large Tupperware, in layers separated by wax paper) but I ran out of pre-cooked vegetables. So I think I will buy a bigger yellow squash than usual when I go grocery shopping tomorrow evening (I have made a list) and use a few slices as Dottie-food instead of putting the whole thing into a batch of veggie sidedish.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: sickon the edge of a cold
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
Yesterday afternoon Hotmail stopped working for me -- or rather, Hotmail stopped working in Chrome, which is a problem since Chrome is my default browser. After getting an unhelpful response to a support ticket (basically, 'the problem isn't us, it's all Google, go bug them'), I did some searching and determined the issue was probably one of my extensions... which is annoying since I hardly have any extensions in the first place and they're all doing important things.

It turned out to be my ad-blocker. We are all completely shocked and surprised. So I tweaked the settings to make it be nicer to Microsoft and whaddaya know, I can access my email again! (Fortunately the tweak didn't make the extension stop working; it's just gone back to blocking only the sidebar ads instead of, apparently, the entire domain. *sigh*)

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: annoyedmildly annoyed