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Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
01 January 2037 @ 01:01 am
Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction


General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by writing date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Content/Warning Policy: 1) I am not consistent about warnings! I use them when I remember, for a few relatively broad categories of potentially problematic content, but if something is off-page, non-explicit, or generally backgrounded, I probably won't think to note it in the metadata. Read at your own risk! 2) The things I try to warn for are explicit sex, rape, murder, torture, cannibalism, incest, depression/suicide, familial dysfunction, and occasionally also societal dysfunction (aka dystopia). Sometimes I just slap a general content warning on all my fic for a given fandom and don't label each individual fic. I also don't generally warn for violence, unless the violence in a fic is dramatically out-of-step with the violence in its source canon. 3) I don't use any content rating system unless I'm posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I find movie-style ratings counter-intuitive when applied to written fiction, and not particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I already note in the metadata.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else (except Tumblr; fic content there is just a mirror of fic content here), read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, Daredevil (MCU), The Dark Is Rising, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(Currently includes: American Gods, An Ash-Blonde Witch, Arthurian Mythology, Avengers (MCU), Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Captain America (MCU), Charlotte's Web, Code Geass, the Darkangel trilogy, Death Note, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Guardians of the Galaxy (MCU), Hamilton, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Howl's Moving Castle, Labyrinth, Lord of the Rings, Lucifer (comics), Mad Max: Fury Road, Merlin, the Oz books, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Sailor Moon, Saiyuki, Seaward, Shakespeare, Star Wars, Tam Lin (Pamela Dean), White Collar, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers and fusions under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them. Currently includes: the Anita Blake series, ASoIaF, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Black Jewels series, BtVS, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chronicles of Narnia, the Darkangel trilogy, The Dark Is Rising, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Ender's Game, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Hikaru no Go, Homestuck, Inception, the Indiana Jones movies, Leverage, Lucifer (comics), MCU (various), Merlin, Naruto, the Oz books, Sandman, Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek: AOS, Vorkosigan Saga, Welcome to Night Vale, and a couple other things that only appear in memes rather than actual fic.)



These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction


My various bingo cards: Cotton Candy Bingo, Round One (blackout!); Cotton Candy Bingo, Round Two (blackout!); Daredevil Bingo; Genprompt Bingo; Domestic AU Prompt List

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: calmcalm
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
20 July 2018 @ 10:18 pm
Assorted things, in no particular order:

1. I'm doing my best to annotate "Death of a Salesman" as I go along, and I have come to a realization of why I intensely dislike Willy Loman: he is Donald Trump. Or rather, a version of Donald Trump without the leg up of a millionaire father and with enough inchoate wisps of conscience to make him realize his life is a mess and there's something wrong with his beliefs. But the defensive reaction to anything that threatens to burst his carefully manipulated dreamworld, the mistreatment of his wife, the way he raises his kids with no functional moral center... Yeah. Trump.

If we have to write an essay on this play next week, that is 100% going to be my thesis.

2. Tomorrow New Hire and I will staff the rental office alone all day -- which is the normal pattern for Saturdays, but I am meant to be training her as we go. Except it's a little hard to train someone when there aren't tasks to do, and I have no idea whether there'll be enough stuff to keep even one person busy. And I am so bad at unstructured interactions. *hands* Well, I guess if all else fails I can have her make photocopies of floor plans in preparation for the fall apartment tour flood, while I sort through the apartment photos I've been taking and upload any relevant ones to our website. (And also update the Craigslist ads, since I let that slide today.)

3. This week we have TWO writing projects for Child Psych, which I guess is meant to be equivalent to a final exam. There's the usual short essay assignment, and then we have a third paper-annotation-related project -- namely, relate a personal experience and connect it to the theory or topic we wrote about in the second paper-annotation assignment. Which in my case would be the sources/origins/causes of childhood aggression. And I... don't know that my personal experiences are especially relevant?

I was a very violent child -- physically violent, not emotionally violent -- but it was entirely reactive violence, mostly because I didn't start to develop a functional circuit-breaker on the annoyance/upset-to-anger-to-violence chain until I was ten or eleven, and it took until I was fourteen before I'd say I had myself under control (rather than repressed like a pressure-cooker). And that's not what's generally meant by aggression, because I wasn't trying to make other people do anything except leave me alone. I didn't have much experience as a victim of aggression, because most people quickly learn that bullying a girl who will slam hardcover books into your face or kick you in the crotch if you bother her is not a great life choice. *sheepish* Additionally, I never really grokked the popularity game and was lucky to have a handful of close friends who also didn't care much about it, so I didn't suffer much relational aggression either.

Well, I have a few more days to figure out an angle of attack. (haha)

4. My squash are sprouting!!!

5. I have been taking photographs of a dead bird over the past several days, as a sort of study in decomposition and decay. It's really cool and gross, and I am frankly astonished that nobody has tried to scoop the corpse off the sidewalk yet.

6. I've finished my tax update continuing education requirements, so now it's just Federal tax law and ethics, and one of my tax update credits carries over to count as a tax law credit. So. 4 down, 14 to go!

I also sent in my application to Not the IRS last night. I don't expect to hear back until mid-August at least, but I'm a good employee so I fully expect to be rehired for another year. (Seasonal jobs are so logistically ridiculous...)

And that's all I can think of at the moment.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
19 July 2018 @ 10:54 pm
I have just nominated so many things for the Narnia Fic Exchange tagset -- partly because I wanted to make sure that all the options were covered for anyone else who wants to participate, but also because I have a handful of highly specific prompts and I knew if I didn't nominate the relevant tags, nobody else would in a million years.

Like, who else is going to make sure I can ask for a story about Nikabrik, Trumpkin, and Narnian dwarf culture in the decades leading up to Prince Caspian, with a particular focus on how Jadis was remembered with so much more fervor than Aslan? Nobody, that's who. Ditto my prompt for what on earth Mrs. Lefay did to get herself thrown in prison and precisely how much the various members of the Ketterly family knew about it and/or were tangentially involved. Or the one I keep asking for in which Aravis and Rabadash meet some years before The Horse and His Boy -- I don't even care about the plot pretext, I just want to see them interact at a time when neither has any reason to think badly of the other.

I mean, I'm being nice! I specifically didn't game my nominations to let me request the Aslan/Jadis/Helen/Frank sedoretu AU of doom that I occasionally giggle to myself over when I'm feeling particularly evil.

But I want what I want, and aside from Lucy Pevensie/Sea Girl, nobody else ever nominates the right things. *sigh*

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: amusedamused
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
18 July 2018 @ 10:03 pm
Today was not AS productive as I hoped it would be, but still pretty productive. Here are the things I did:

-bought groceries

-put away laundry, including folding linens (which I skipped on Sunday because exhaustion and excessive heat)

-some gardening

-some general apartment-tidying

-finished another tax course (I am DONE with the tax update portion, yay!)

-bought fancy glue to repair my busted suncatcher

-bought more new pants (did you know that I wear a size 6 or 8 in fancy dress pants, but a size 10 or 12 in jeans??? women's clothes MAKE NO SENSE)

-reconciled my credit statements

-actually wrote a tiny bit of fiction!!! (the ficlet in question remains unfinished, but even so. victory!)

And now I am going to bed at a reasonable hour so I won't be exhausted all through work tomorrow, and can hopefully plow through a bunch of "Death of a Salesman" for my English class. :)

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: contentcontent
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
17 July 2018 @ 07:05 pm
We have a new hire at the rental office, so as of today I am free of overtime -- FREE, I TELL YOU!!!

Of course I lost most of my workday to taking New Hire (...I will come up with an appropriate nickname once I know her better) around our properties so she gets a sense of what apartments we have and where they are, but hey, it's a little extra work now to save a LOT of work later on. :D

Also yesterday I got started on my tax law continuing education for 2019, so that's another thing ticked off my list. (Well. 2 of 18 required credits, which isn't much, but 2 is more than 0 so I'll take it.)

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: happyhappy
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
16 July 2018 @ 04:18 pm
This week's English assignment is to read Arthur Miller's "Death of a Salesman" and submit the notes I take while reading it.

I read that play in high school and was not terribly impressed then. I suspect I will not be terribly impressed now, either. Too many men being idiots for no good reason, plus what I consider the cardinal sin of modern litfic and literary drama: writers being too concerned about Themes(TM) and not paying nearly enough attention to entertainment.

(Which is doubly annoying because "The Crucible" is an absolute stem-winder, so I know Miller could do entertainment (and a reasonable percentage of female characters) when he wanted to bother. *sigh*)

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: hotbroken AC, send help
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
16 July 2018 @ 11:00 am
Mom Boss had a childcare emergency (and Aunt Boss is on vacation) so I'm at work alone today. This is not a huge issue, but it does mean we have to put off lease documents another day, and also the occasional flurries of overlapping phone calls get awkward to deal with. At least we have a functional hold and transfer system, plus three lines -- it would be impossible to manage otherwise.

Hmm. What else...

I got my dates mixed up for a Child Psychology assignment, which is annoying.

One of my overwintered peppers has a ripening fruit, and several of the new-this-year peppers are gearing up to bloom. This pleases me. :)

I caught up with Cat, Susan, and Vicky over the phone this weekend.

And... that's about it.

Now back to the salt mines!

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
I want to remind myself that I haven't been doing nothing instead of writing.

What I have been doing instead of writing is:

-working 50-55 hours a week from January through mid-April, because yay tax season!

-taking two spring semester college classes while doing the above overtime work (and acing both of them, thank you very much)

-working 45-50 hours a week from May through... uh... next week assuming our potential new hire works out. I am crossing my fingers so hard, you have no idea

-taking two summer semester college classes while doing the above overtime work (and doing pretty damn well on this set, too)

It is completely reasonable for me to have no mental, emotional, or physical energy left over for creative endeavors.

(My gut is not convinced of that, but my gut has spent decades listening to my depression, so what does it know. Intestines aren't even clairvoyant.)

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: tiredtired
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
09 July 2018 @ 09:52 am
I had a long string of vaguely connected dreams about apartments last night (known hazard of working for a renting company *sigh*), most of which were pretty normal... but in the middle there was a random episode where I'd moved into a company-owned apartment and was desperately trying to hide the One Ring from Chancellor Palpatine. As one does. So I strung it on a necklace chain and hid the whole thing in my toilet tank.

Palpatine stalked me for a while and made creepy insinuating comments whenever he showed up at my job. Then he acquired an illegal copy of my back door key and snuck into my apartment when he thought I wasn't home. Except I was, and I caught him red-handed, and then my bosses and I had him arrested.

After that I stopped hiding the One Ring in my toilet tank and started looking into drone rentals so I could drop it into Mount Doom remotely. :)

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: amusedamused
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
I... completely forgot to post here for almost two weeks, what the heck.

Uh. Nothing much has been going on? I'm still working overtime at the rental office. Our latest two attempted hires were utter duds -- in the sense that they couldn't even find the right town and were wandering around in Dryden instead of Ithaca, what even. This is what Google Maps are for! You check before you start driving or walking! *headdesk* Anyway, this past week was weird because of the holiday right smack in the middle, but we've been getting a bunch of inquiries from panicked transfer students since apparently Cornell ran out of transfer housing a few weeks back. Sucks for them, but good for us.

(Cornell's perpetual housing shortage is so dumb and shortsighted, and does seriously weird things to Ithaca's housing market in general, but it keeps me in a job so... *shrug*)

I walked to the Cayuga St. bridge over Fall Creek Tuesday night to watch the fireworks, which were enjoyable as always.

I ended up rescheduling my blood donation from a few weeks back to the evening of Thursday the 5th. I have been taking iron supplements off and on, and I guess they helped because this time my hemocrit was above the minimum cutoff and I successfully gave blood to the friendly neighborhood vampires, aka the Red Cross. *wry*

I finished this week's English assignment (poetry responses to William Blake's "The Tyger," John Clare's "The Sky Lark," and Bob Dylan's "Blowin' in the Wind" (yes, seriously!)) on time by the skin of my teeth. I retrospectively wish I'd posted my response to "The Sky Lark" in the discussion forum instead of my response to "The Tyger," because only one person talked about "The Sky Lark" and managed to completely and utterly miss the point of the poem, which annoys me. I want my interpretation out there as a corrective. Alas, it is too late now. *sigh*

I have a new paper annotation project for Child Psychology due in two weeks. The first paper annotation was basically, "here is a scientific paper; please show me that you can read and understand it." Now that we've presumably mastered that skill, the next step is, "here is a list of topics; please choose one, then find a relevant paper from [set of databases] and explain what its results show about your chosen topic." I really like the way this course is structured, if you haven't been able to tell. :) Some of the quizzes could use a bit of copy-editing, but we have a straightforward textbook and a straightforward set of requirements and goals. It's all just so clear, I could cry.

My parents are coming up to visit Tuesday and Wednesday. The plan is to drop off all our donations to my church garage sale Tuesday evening, then go out for dinner. On Wednesday we'll do separate breakfasts (me at home, them at their motel) and then... I think some walking/hiking, probably in Renwick Wildwood Bird Sanctuary and then Robert Treman State Park, followed by optional visits to a little museum on Ithaca College campus and/or Six Mile Creek winery. We'll do lunch, Mom and I might do a bit of shopping, and then she and Dad will head back to NJ.

It's going to be weird seeing them without Dottie. It definitely makes life more convenient not to be wrangling a dog, but logistical convenience is not the only virtue. *deeper sigh*

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: tiredtired