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Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
01 January 2037 @ 01:01 am
Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction


General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by writing date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Content/Warning Policy: 1) I am not consistent about warnings! I use them when I remember, for a few relatively broad categories of potentially problematic content, but if something is off-page, non-explicit, or generally backgrounded, I probably won't think to note it in the metadata. Read at your own risk! 2) The things I try to warn for are explicit sex, rape, murder, torture, cannibalism, incest, depression/suicide, familial dysfunction, and occasionally also societal dysfunction (aka dystopia). Sometimes I just slap a general content warning on all my fic for a given fandom and don't label each individual fic. I also don't generally warn for violence, unless the violence in a fic is dramatically out-of-step with the violence in its source canon. 3) I don't use any content rating system unless I'm posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I find movie-style ratings counter-intuitive when applied to written fiction, and not particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I already note in the metadata.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else (except Tumblr; fic content there is just a mirror of fic content here), read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, Daredevil (MCU), The Dark Is Rising, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(Currently includes: American Gods, An Ash-Blonde Witch, Arthurian Mythology, Avengers (MCU), Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Captain America (MCU), Charlotte's Web, Code Geass, the Darkangel trilogy, Death Note, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Guardians of the Galaxy (MCU), Hamilton, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Howl's Moving Castle, Labyrinth, Lord of the Rings, Lucifer (comics), Mad Max: Fury Road, Merlin, the Oz books, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Sailor Moon, Saiyuki, Seaward, Shakespeare, Star Wars, Tam Lin (Pamela Dean), White Collar, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers and fusions under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them. Currently includes: the Anita Blake series, ASoIaF, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Black Jewels series, BtVS, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chronicles of Narnia, the Darkangel trilogy, The Dark Is Rising, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Ender's Game, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Hikaru no Go, Homestuck, Inception, the Indiana Jones movies, Leverage, Lucifer (comics), MCU (various), Merlin, Naruto, the Oz books, Sandman, Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek: AOS, Vorkosigan Saga, Welcome to Night Vale, and a couple other things that only appear in memes rather than actual fic.)



These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction


My various bingo cards: Cotton Candy Bingo, Round One (blackout!); Cotton Candy Bingo, Round Two (blackout!); Daredevil Bingo; Genprompt Bingo; Domestic AU Prompt List

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
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Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
Tax season is over, which means I get to SLEEP AGAIN. Yesterday I didn't get up until 10:30am, and then took a two-hour nap in the afternoon. It was glorious. Today I slept in until 10:00am and I'm seriously contemplating another afternoon nap.

Yesterday was basically my write-off day, in which I... think the only actual Things I did were 1) wash my overnight wrist braces and 2) go to the end-of-season Not the IRS hill office dinner, where I drank two and a half margaritas and had a nice meal of various appetizers.

Today so far, I have 1) done some banking stuff, 2) got a haircut, 3) walked to the bus stations and purchased a ticket to NJ so I can collect Dottie for dogsitting in May, and 4) arranged a ride to a champagne waffle brunch on Sunday. I plan to do several additional Things later today as well.

But first, yeah, I think I will take a nap.

Mmmm, sleep. :)

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
19 April 2018 @ 09:17 pm
It's that time of year again. :)

Here are the results from 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013 and 2012, for comparison purposes.

I currently have 505 stories posted on AO3, which is 26 more than last year. I think almost all of the new fics were genuinely written during the past year, though I might also have crossposted a few backdated things; I honestly don't remember.

Anyway, here are my top ten works on AO3, by hit count:

1. What Isn't Broken (Can Still Be Fixed) - 24,746 [Naruto, remix]
2. I Must Increase My Bust - 5,815 [Homestuck]
3. Trollstuck: Make Her Pay - 5,723 [Homestuck, chaptered, WIP]
4. With a Vengeance - 5,618 [Naruto]
5. The Way of the Apartment Manager - 5,292 [Naruto, chaptered]
6. More Sins than Condemnation - 5,279 [Naruto]
7. Problems and Solutions (All Things in Time) - 4,931 [Chronicles of Narnia/Stargate: SG-1, remix]
8. Four by Four - 4,833 [Homestuck, chaptered, WIP]
9. Dreamers of the Day - 4,376 [Inception]
10. Of Stone and of Sky - 4,369 [Homestuck, Ladystuck]

This is largely the same as last year, barring a few internal rearrangements -- most notably "The Way of the Apartment Manager" jumping from #10 to #5. I am pleased that my most popular story on other sites is finally picking up steam over here, too, despite its age and backdating. :D (Side note: "Definitions of Romance," another old and backdated fic, has moved to #11 on my hit count list, which is slowly bringing it into line with its performance on other sites.)

"What Isn't Broken" continues to absolutely crush everything else I've ever written, at least on this particular site. I am still unsure why, but hey, if people like it I'm not going to complain. *wry* It also drags its two companion ficlets ("With a Vengeance" and "More Sins than Condemnation") up the rankings... at least in terms of hit count. Their kudos count is more variable.

Anyway, moving on!

Here are my top ten stories by number of kudosCollapse )

The bookmark list continues to share a lot of commonalities with the hit and kudos lists (particularly if you go by the top twenty rather than just the top ten), and the comment list continues to be noticeably different from those three, though this year that discrepancy finally seems to owe as much to comments on multi-chapter fics as to comments on fic exchange works.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
16 April 2018 @ 11:00 pm
So, that pinch hit I mentioned a while back? Authors have now been revealed for the exchange in question (Hetswap 2018), so I can tell you what I wrote!

Wedding Date (2000 words) by Elizabeth Culmer
Fandom: Homestuck
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Terezi Pyrope/Dave Strider
Characters: Terezi Pyrope, Dave Strider
Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Introspection, Conversations

Summary: Terezi and Dave get reacquainted at Rose and Kanaya's wedding.

Written for [archiveofourown.org profile] raininshadows -- who also asked for Roxy/Lil Hal, Vriska/Eridan, or Jade/Dave, which is why I had to make a poll to decide which option to write, because they were all incredibly tempting. :D

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
Okay, I am trying to sit down and restart work on my FTH fic, but I seem to have temporarily misplaced my knack for stringing words together in a coherent narrative.

So here I am, breaking my resolution about not doing mini-ficlet prompt memes. *headdesk*

This one really is for mini-ficlets, though! I may run long, of course, but I want these to be finger exercises rather than major projects.

You know the basic drill by now, yes? Pick a square from my Genprompt Bingo card, add one to three characters plus a scenario, and I will write you a ficlet of at least 3 sentences and/or 100 words.

Here is my Genprompt Bingo card. For those who prefer lists to graphics, the open squares are: Light-Hearted, Holiday Cottages, WILD CARD, Suicide, Another Year Older: Birthdays, The Age of Reason, Steadfast, and Takeout.


Obligatory small print:

1. I reserve the right to veto any fandoms I don't know well enough to write, and ask you to please try again.

2. Crossover prompts are fine! On the vanishingly unlikely chance anyone wants to read a snippet from any of my original worlds and stories, that kind of prompt is also fine.

3. In the Genprompt Bingo challenge, WILD CARD means to grab any prompt from the complete Round 12 prompt list. I reserve the right to veto any such wild card substitutions and ask you to please try again.

4. Genprompt Bingo fills do not have to be gen! (The 'gen' refers to the squares, which do not automatically presuppose shipping.) Just be aware that I'm not great at romance, so if you request shipfic, it will come out fairly low-key and may end up as ambiguous gen anyway.


Fill List:

1. Kitchen Science: lighthearted, jane and dirk making the most mathematically perfect cake. Written 4/13/18 for [tumblr.com profile] longroadstonowhere (175 words) [Tumblr crosspost]

2. Than It Is To Receive: BIRFDAY, Naruto …actually that’s probably a scenario in itself XD. Written 4/13/18 for [personal profile] alexseanchai (425 words) [Tumblr crosspost]

3. All Work and No Play: Holiday Cottages, Naruto (i was thinking of the summer camp au but another setting would be fine also). Written 4/13/18 for [personal profile] silverblade219 (425 words) [Tumblr crosspost]

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Current Location: not the irs
Current Mood: restlessrestless
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
12 April 2018 @ 10:36 pm
No work today -- I'd cleared it with Tax Boss that I'd have the day off since I needed to get some college things taken care of. So I caught a bus out to TC3 at noon, ate lunch in the dinky campus cafe, and met with my advisor at 2pm, after which I registered for two classes in the summer semester (English 102: Approaches to Literature [required] and Child Psychology) and two classes in the fall semester (American State & Local Gov't and Spanish 101). I then realized this evening that although I have been verbally told that I'm exempt from English 100, it's still on my degree program as an unfulfilled requirement, so... confusion! I will send my advisor an email about that in the morning, and also ask if she can remove a "planned" spring 2019 course from that program since A) I don't intend to take it, and B) I think it's mucking up the calculation of what requirements I've fulfilled and/or am scheduled to fulfill in upcoming semesters.

I also met briefly with someone from the financial aid department to ask about a weird line item on a statement I recently received, and also to ask about payment for the summer session. They're looking into the statement discrepancy, and apparently I'm supposed to pay for summer out-of-pocket with the aid refund checks they've sent me over the past month. So it's still all aid money; it's just passed through my bank account for a couple months. (I mean, yay interest, I guess?)

And then I went to the Stewardship committee meeting, where I got a list of people to call about making their pledges. I might tackle a few of them tomorrow if I have slow periods at Not the IRS, but I think Saturday and Sunday are more likely, really.

Right now I am cooking a batch of chicken, pepper, and onion in balsamic vinaigrette and soy sauce (plus a bunch of cumin, a bit of chili powder, and a cube of chicken bouillon because chicken dishes tend to taste weird if you don't dump bouillon on them, regardless of what other spices you use). That will burble merrily away in my crockpot while I sleep, and I'll package it into refrigerator containers sometime in the morning before I head in to work.


I am so close to having free time back. SO CLOSE.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: tiredtired
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
09 April 2018 @ 11:31 am
For the past couple weeks, I've been feeling like I am perpetually falling behind on my life and racing to catch up.

Fortunately, I am pretty good at last-minute catching up. But I would like to not put myself in a position where I have to exercise that skill. *wry*

Anyway, I did manage to participate in last week's Anthro discussion, and both write and record myself delivering my own fake eulogy for my Communications class, which was interesting. (I now have a YouTube channel. It has precisely two videos: one test video, which is private, and the eulogy, which is unlisted. Also it's under my legal name so no, I am not linking anything.) Hopefully this week I will be able to get back ahead on my readings, as well as participate in the discussion forums for both classes.

I have an advisor appointment on Thursday to discuss my summer and fall course options, and get approval for my choices, after which I will talk to the financial aid people about funding because the documents they've mailed me make increasingly less sense. *sigh*

In church news, I am catching up on some stewardship committee obligations, which kind of fell by the wayside last week. I may end up running a little behind on a few until Thursday and/or Saturday, but a few days behind is much better than two weeks behind. This coming Sunday is the installation for Rev. Weis, followed by a big congregational party/lunch, which should hopefully be fun and not eat too much of my time. (I am on cleanup duty, surprising no one.)

In writing news, this morning I did extensive edits on the pinch hit I picked up for an unnamed exchange, so as to shape a sort of minimally functional "and some people did some stuff" thing into a story that both had better character depth and that actually made significant thematic gestures toward the reason for the exchange. I have signed up for WIP Big Bang. And for the rest of April, I am going to get back to my FTH fic, which has been tragically languishing again while I got swamped by life.

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Current Location: not the irs
Current Mood: tiredtired
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
07 April 2018 @ 10:27 am
It looks like I will be tackling "Lemonade" this year. This is simultaneously exciting (I love that story and really want to finish it) and daunting (it's long, and it's been five years since I posted ch. 19), but hey, what is life without challenges?

Thank you to everyone who voted!

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
05 April 2018 @ 07:56 pm
I intend to attempt [community profile] wipbigbang again this year, but as usual, I am not sure which story to tackle. The finished work must be at least 7,500 words long, and the WIP must be at least 500 words long at the time of entry. (These words can be publicly posted or can exist only in one's own document files.)

So here are five stories that fit those requirements, and which I think I have a plausible chance of finishing by early July:

1. Five Things That Never Happened to Rex and Ana Lewis (And One That Still Might)
--This is a GI Joe: Rise of Cobra fic (yes, I know) that does exactly what it says on the tin. I currently have the first three sections written to the tune of 9,000 words, and a couple hundred each for parts four and five. Part six is only an outline and might end up unwritten depending on my mood after rewatching the movie to refresh my memory of the characters and plot (insofar as they exist). Probably 15,000-18,000 words when complete.

2. Ephemera
--This is an Angel Sanctuary fic following Belial's pre-canon journey from heaven to hell. It's kind of messed up (because Belial is kind of messed up) and has a lot of vaguely meta stuff about gender, gender roles, morality as related to sex and violence, and free will. Also hopefully some gory fight scenes in the as-yet-unwritten parts. :) I have one 6,000 word chapter written and posted on ff.net, a second chapter partially written, and a third tentatively outlined. (I will have to revise the posted chapter as part of this process.) Probably ~20,000 words when complete.

3. The Light in Your Eyes
--A Star Trek: AOS fic that follows Spock through the immediate aftermath of the Narada incident up to the Enterprise leaving on its new mission. Mostly about Vulcans and mourning and stuff, with significant secondary roles for Uhura and Kirk. Currently at 9,500 words, probably 18,000-20,000 words when complete.

4. Lemonade
--A BtVS/Gundam Wing/Naruto crossover in which Faith Lehane, Duo Maxwell, and Uchiha Sasuke accidentally get yanked into a hell dimension and must work together to get home. Along the way, they have some sex. :) This is post-Chosen for Faith, post-Endless Waltz for Duo, and in the third year of the timeskip for Sasuke; it ignores all BtVS comics, anything from Preventers Five, and pretty much all of post-timeskip Naruto. Nineteen chapters are currently posted, totaling roughly 44,000 words. I estimate another six to ten chapters before the plot wraps up. (I have a relatively firm outline, but I'm not always great at guessing how many words it will take to cover each point.) Should be roughly 60,000 words when complete, though only 16,000 or so would be new.

5. New Horizons
--Post-epilogue, DH-compliant Ginny/Harry/Draco. No, really. :) Basically, Ginny gets forcibly retired from the Holyhead Harpies around the time Lily leaves Hogwarts, so Harry takes her on a consolation holiday to Greece. They run into Draco, who's giving himself a consolation holiday after his divorce, and things spiral from there. Featuring several political arguments, a bit too much alcohol, and probably no explicit porn because I am more here for the midlife crisis and romcom aspects. I posted two sections on my journal in draft form ages ago, and part of the third chapter is written. About 3,500 words written, should come to maybe 8,000 when complete. (Or 10,000, depending on how much they bicker before I can talk them into possibly inadvisable sex.)

With those descriptions in mind, here is a poll. Please pick whichever one (or two) sounds like something you'd be interested in reading this summer:

If you can't get the poll to work for you, please vote by leaving a comment! You do not need an account to comment. :D

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Current Mood: curiouscurious
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
01 April 2018 @ 08:11 pm
Been a few days since I posted, whoops.

I got my sleeping schedule out of whack at the start of last week, which was mostly my own silly fault for falling down a rabbit hole of fic in a handful of new-to-me video game fandoms. I will not be writing for them, nor do I know the source material, but a lot of the available fic hits a bundle of my narrative kinks really strongly and I have a tendency to lose track of time when in the initial discover-and-devour phase. *sigh*

In college news, I finished and submitted my ethnographic observation writeup (including two diagrams, because I am an overachiever even when writing things down to the wire) and also finished and submitted an essay about my personal social media "brand," which was amusing since I have two (legal name and fandom pseud) that I keep strictly separate precisely because I am conscious of projected images and privacy issues. I need to check with the financial services people to see if I need to submit a new FAFSA for the fall semester, or whether my current one will cover that. And I need to pick my summer classes, run them past an advisor, and then actually enroll and start wrangling my finances into order. Most of that's going to have to wait for the second half of the month, or maybe May when I will have a car for a few weeks. (Dogsitting, yay!)

In work news, the rental office is slow right now because of Cornell's spring break, but should pick up again once people start thinking about summer housing and new grad students finalize their plans. Not the IRS, on the other hand, is picking up steam as people remember tax day is just two weeks away and start rushing in to our office.

In church news, Rev. Weis will have her official installation ceremony and then welcome party on the 15th; I have volunteered for cleanup since that falls within my hospitality team's four-week service period. (Our first week of duty is the 8th, for which I have volunteered to provide snacks and wash dishes.) The stewardship campaign has moved to our second phase, which involves personalized thank-you notes and also personalized phone calls to people who have not yet made their pledges. And on Sunday the 22nd, I will attend a champagne and waffle brunch for which I purchased a seat at our service auction last fall, because ye gods and little fishes, I will need a champagne brunch by then.

And that's pretty much that for now. :)

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