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Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
01 January 2037 @ 01:01 am
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Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction
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FANFICTION:

General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by writing date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Content/Warning Policy: 1) I am not consistent about warnings! I use them when I remember, for a few relatively broad categories of potentially problematic content, but if something is off-page, non-explicit, or generally backgrounded, I probably won't think to note it in the metadata. Read at your own risk! 2) The things I try to warn for are explicit sex, rape, murder, torture, cannibalism, incest, depression/suicide, familial dysfunction, and occasionally also societal dysfunction (aka dystopia). Sometimes I just slap a general content warning on all my fic for a given fandom and don't label each individual fic. I also don't generally warn for violence, unless the violence in a fic is dramatically out-of-step with the violence in its source canon. 3) I don't use any content rating system unless I'm posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I find movie-style ratings counter-intuitive when applied to written fiction, and not particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I already note in the metadata.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else (except Tumblr; fic content there is just a mirror of fic content here), read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

MCU fanfic (assorted)

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, The Dark Is Rising, the Darkangel trilogy, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(Currently includes: American Gods, An Ash-Blonde Witch, Arthurian Mythology, Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Charlotte's Web, Code Geass, Death Note, Discworld, Doctor Who, Girl Genius, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Hamilton, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Howl's Moving Castle, Labyrinth, Lord of the Rings, Lucifer (comics), Mad Max: Fury Road, Merlin, the Oz books, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Sailor Moon, Saiyuki, Seaward, Shakespeare, Star Wars, Tam Lin (Pamela Dean), White Collar, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers and fusions under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them. Currently includes: the Anita Blake series, ASoIaF, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Black Jewels series, BtVS, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chronicles of Narnia, the Darkangel trilogy, The Dark Is Rising, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Ender's Game, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Hikaru no Go, Homestuck, Inception, the Indiana Jones movies, Leverage, Lucifer (comics), MCU (various), Merlin, Naruto, the Oz books, Sandman, Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek: AOS, Vorkosigan Saga, Welcome to Night Vale, and a couple other things that only appear in memes rather than actual fic.)

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ORIGINAL FICTION:

These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction

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My various bingo cards: Cotton Candy Bingo, Round One (blackout!); Cotton Candy Bingo, Round Two (blackout!); Genprompt Bingo, Round 12 (blackout!); Genprompt Bingo, Round 15; Ladies Bingo; Daredevil Bingo; Domestic AU Prompt List

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
20 March 2019 @ 03:41 pm
Days when I work afternoon-to-evening are always weird, because I have all this time in the morning (and sometimes early afternoon) but I never want to commit to a really big project because what if it runs long and I have to bail in the middle in order to get to work on time?

Anyway, this morning I dealt with some paperwork, wrote a few sentences on another prompt!ficlet, prepped for some evening cooking projects, and belatedly realized that I'd kept saying that I'd plant my peppers "soon" but had not gotten around to actually doing so for nearly three weeks. Whoops!

So I now have 18 pepper seeds on my kitchen table, safely planted in their little peat cylinders in my dinky plastic "greenhouse". I've also double-checked the instructions on the mixed veggie seed kit Susan got me for my birthday (and made some preliminary decisions about where to put the seedlings once they sprout) and I think those will all be better off waiting until mid-April or so -- or even early May in a couple cases.

Now I'm at Not the IRS where I will kill time until 8pm (and then buy groceries), unless I get a walk-in client or two. I had a walk-in yesterday morning, and this is the time of year when people start realizing they haven't gotten around to their taxes (...just like me with my peppers *headdesk*), so there's probably a 50-50 chance.

Which means, I guess, that I shouldn't get too wrapped up in any writing project while I'm here, because what if I have to bail in the middle of capturing a tricky thought or phrase? *wry*

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Current Location: not the irs
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
[personal profile] alexseanchai said: Narnia, noble gases, some combination of Susan, Lucy, Aravis, and Lasaraleen. Depending on which combination, the scenario could just be getting them in contact or in the same physical location. (1,375 words)

I went fairly AU on this one, because of reasons. :)

What Wind Is to FireCollapse )

I ended up splitting the difference between letters and an actual scene-with-dialogue. *wry*

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Current Location: not the irs
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
18 March 2019 @ 06:16 pm
Dear self:

Will the prompt ficlet I'm currently beating my head against work better as an epistolary exchange, or as an actual scene with dialogue? On the one hand, the logistics would be so much simpler with the scene-plus-dialogue. On the other hand, it would be so much easier to work in the prompt idea with an epistolary structure, because people are MUCH more likely to get pretentiously metaphorical in writing than in casual everyday speech.

...

...

Ugh. What even are words.

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
16 March 2019 @ 07:46 pm
Miss Goldberry has left the rental company to go on a cross-country road trip before starting a one-year accelerated nursing program. That is pretty cool, and I wish her the best of luck! We have also hired a replacement (who I think has been working as a hotel receptionist), but I'm not sure if she starts this coming week or the one after, since she has to transition out of her old job.

I will give her a nickname in due time, I'm sure.

The immediate upshot of this, of course, is that I was alone in the office today. That was all right; it was a pretty slow day. I rented two studios, fielded various phone and email inquiries, answered a bunch of questions about rent payments, and took two people on a scheduled apartment tour, as well as doing some general... whatever the electronic equivalent of filing is. Checking payment status on accounts, sending reminder emails, updating spreadsheets, etc.

It was pretty chill. :)

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I got a tiny bit of writing done this afternoon. I have decided that my new writing goal is, as per that Tumblr post that goes around periodically, to write three sentences every day. That's the minimum. If I write more, great! If they're stupidly short sentences, such that my daily progress is under twenty words? Whatever. Progress is progress.

I have found that giving myself wordcount targets doesn't work, no matter how minimal they are. Telling myself to just write "something" doesn't work very well either (though it's less useless than the wordcount goals). So I figure I'll try this method and see if it strikes a balance between "too hard, why bother" and "too vague, why bother."

So. Today I wrote eight sentences. Granted, three of them were single words and one was only three words long (look, dialogue and internal monologue are just like that), but even so, that is a heck of a lot more than nothing.

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Before work, I got a haircut. I really should have done that one or two weeks ago -- it was getting kind of shaggy -- but life happens and it hadn't gotten completely overgrown, so eh. Also, while I wasn't first in line, I was second which meant I got out in time to catch my regular bus up the hill and therefore had time to wash out all the little hair snippet residue in the office sink before I opened. (The glory of really short hair is that I can do that and it will dry in under ten minutes, especially if I pat it down a bit with some paper towel.)

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This evening I got around to sorting through a bunch of mail that had been collecting in my front room over the course of the week -- in summary, it was 80% junk -- and either tonight or tomorrow I will pay my health insurance and my rent. (I already paid my credit card bills.) It's a little early to pay rent, since Landlord Dude will just sit on the check until a few days into April and that screws up my mental accounting... but I have the money at the moment (March is a three-paycheck month this year) and I do like to get things done so they stop nagging at the edges of my mind.

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There are snowdrops blooming on Tioga Street. I passed them on my walk home. :D

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: mellowmellow
 
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
[personal profile] sholio said: MCU Defenders, Colleen and Misty (or your choice of MCU Defenders-verse ladies if those ones don't click), "Magical Creatures." Finding some kind of unexpected magic animal, or having to fight one. (1,675 words)

Free Time and Other UnicornsCollapse )

That got away from me slightly, and also involved significantly more background research than I intended. Oops? :)

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Current Location: not the irs
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
10 March 2019 @ 10:15 pm
Today was busy!

I got up early in order to help set up for our Stewardship campaign kickoff event at church. About halfway through my walk to church, I realized my left foot felt very wet, and when I checked, it turned out that the sole had developed a crack across the entire width of my shoe. By the time I reached church, my sock was so wet I literally had to wring it out. :( Fortunately I had a replacement pair ready and waiting at home, but that didn't help much in the moment.

Anyway, this year our campaign theme is "Share the Flame" (of generosity, of caring, etc.) so we did a 'campfire' lunch, complete with some hay bale benches and Sterno cans over which to toast marshmallows for s'mores. The main food was chili (over rice, with cornbread, or both). I helped set up a bunch of stuff before the service, was one of the first people to get up and take my pledge card down the aisle during the service (because one leads by example), and then was in charge of dishing up the vegan chili while another Stewardship team member dished up the beef chili in the lunch serving line.

I skipped out at 12:30 when Mom texted me that she'd arrived in Ithaca. We then spent a couple hours on a shopping quest. First we went to Target where Mom was looking to buy a specific kind of wristwatch. As long as we were there, I figured I'd look for a new belt (my current one is getting pretty beat-up) and we each ended up purchasing a shirt. Then we went to Agway in search of a flower pot (for her) and stakes and/or fence-posts (for me). We found the flower pot, but alas, no posts; instead, I bought a bag of small gravel for houseplant drainage and some LED lightbulbs. Then, after a brief detour to Tops for gas (Mom) and cranberry-pomegranate juice (me), we hit up Home Depot where my fence-post quest was successful! I now have six five-foot metal posts with little hooks at periodic intervals, plus some garden twine, which I'm going to use to corral the raspberries this spring and summer. \o/

After the shopping quest, we went to a Finger Lakes Chamber Ensemble concert, which was the main point of the visit. It was all Beethoven, and all lovely. :)

We grabbed some McDonald's for dinner and Mom headed back south to NJ. I decided not to do laundry tonight because it had started raining again, but I still changed all my linens, took out the recycling, and prepped everything so when I get home from work tomorrow I can turn around and get the laundry started within five minutes. I also had a 90-minute phone call with Cat, which is always enjoyable. It's nice to keep in touch with friends. :D

And now I think I'm going to bed, because I didn't get enough sleep last night (ugh, Daylight Saving) and I'm too tired to get any productive writing or reading done tonight.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: productiveproductive
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
09 March 2019 @ 05:26 pm
[personal profile] pole_dancer said: Roommates / Sharing a Room - MCU - Nakia (Black Panther) and Natasha Romanoff, also known as Black Widow (Iron Man)

Did you know that Lupita Nyong'o and Scarlett Johansson are only a year and a half apart in age? I didn't until today. :D (700 words)

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Room for Coincidence
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"This is an interesting coincidence," Natasha said without reaching toward the hand her new roommate had offered in greeting. "Unless you had a hand in--?"

"I did not. What our superiors may or may not have planned is another question entirely," said the Wakandan agent who Natasha had briefly met under the code name Antelope and was now listed on the Columbia University directory as Nakia Q'Noma. She lowered her hand, untouched. "I would suspect yours, since I'm not here on assignment, but your surprise speaks against that."

Natasha shrugged and smiled. "Sometimes a coincidence is actually coincidental." Disconcerting though it was. She disliked things beyond her control, and it was impossible to manipulate random chance the way she could manipulate social systems, conversations, or more physical weapons. "I'm auditing the Barnard dance program for a year of acculturation and vetting."

Nakia absorbed the implied change in Natasha's allegiances with a shallow nod. "I'm completing a two-year Post-baccalaureate program in psychology, plus the usual. Will that be a problem?"

Natasha shrugged. "Not that I know of. I suppose we'll both know more shortly."

"Indeed," Nakia said. "On that note, please excuse me for a moment while I make a call." At Natasha's nod of agreement, Nakia stepped into the graduate dorm's hallway and closed the suite door behind her.

Natasha promptly pulled out her own cell phone, called Agent Coulson's secure dropbox, and left a report. "My roommate is from Wakandan intelligence. We worked alongside each other on a retrieval in Kyrgyzstan two years ago. There shouldn't be any personal or political fallout on that front. She claims to be on detached or reserve status, but I only have her word for that and she might be reactivated at any point. Orders?"

She hung up and returned to transferring her new civilian wardrobe from her two duffel bags to her new dresser and closet. She hadn't yet built a comprehensive assessment of Coulson, but Barton trusted him -- which said several things in and of itself -- and her handful of personal interactions with the man had created a general impression of competence. And, of course, he had access to all of SHIELD's databases and connections. He'd get her what she needed to know as soon as reasonably possible.

In the meantime, Natasha finished hanging her three dresses -- one for looking like an eager young professional, one for attracting sexual attention, and one for conveying friendly innocence -- and contemplated the bare, off-white walls of her tiny bedroom. She ought to hang something artsy or kitschy on at least one. That seemed to be a typical feminine trait, and she needed to construct a convincing cover even if her roommate already knew some of the truth underneath. Barton would probably say she also needed to construct a self that made her happy, and there was no way to do that without experimentation.

The main door of the suite opened and closed, and Natasha leaned out of her bedroom door with her eyebrows raised in silent question.

"I don't believe we'll have any conflicts of interest," Nakia said with a small but convincing smile, warm all the way from the set of her shoulders to the tiny muscles around her eyes.

If that was artificial, Natasha wanted to learn her tricks. If it was genuine... Barton would think Natasha should learn that trick -- being human -- as well, though he'd probably phrase it differently.

For the moment, she could at least manage convincing wry humor. "What if I want to put posters on the walls and our taste in art is incompatible?"

"Then it would be war," Nakia said with obviously false gravity. "But I'm sure we can find something neutral for the living room and kitchen, however disparate our bedrooms may become."

"We are resourceful," Natasha agreed. "And on that note, once you've unpacked, would you mind coming with me to reconnoiter the campus store? I have supplies to purchase and it's easiest to discuss art choices with the options in front of us."

"So long as you come with me to purchase groceries this evening," Nakia said, "it would be my pleasure." She offered her hand again.

This time, Natasha grasped it. "Deal."

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End of Ficlet

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
I had Tuesday off this week, which was lovely. Then on Wednesday I was only at Not the IRS for four hours, during which I only had one client -- but he's a good client and buys some of our ancillary products so that was also lovely.

And then today it was back to a full-length 9am-7pm day at the rental office. *sigh* I got there two minutes late, actually, because my bus failed to appear and I had to catch a #21 instead, and that takes Stewart Ave. instead of going through Collegetown, which meant I had to walk up the steepest bit of East Hill from the bus stop to the office. Not fun in ~19F weather; my lungs complained at me for nearly half an hour over the deep breaths of cold air I gulped straight down my throat instead of filtering them through my nose for a minimal gesture at warmth.

After that the morning was pretty slow, but the afternoon got a bit crowded. I took an incoming grad student and his mother on a tour and successfully talked them into renting the apartment I picked for them (after an... interesting... digression on the mom's part about the medical dangers of living too close to cell phone towers *headdesk*), and then it was just a lot of paperwork and email plus another tour later in the afternoon. Cornell's dorm lottery is going on this week and next week, so we're expecting an uptick in people suddenly looking for off-campus housing.

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I've been on a fishstick/fish patty kick lately, for unknown reasons, so my dinners have been basically breaded fish plus vegetable of the day -- which is either steamed broccoli or my patented veggie sidedish blend, because I am not an enthusiastic cook and will almost invariably go for whatever is simplest that still reads as food to me. A month or two ago I was on a cheese-and-spinach ravioli kick, with the same general vegetable accompaniment. I find this kind of meal a useful compromise between actually cooking fresh food and letting big food processing companies take care of the fiddly bits (and flavoring!) for me.

On Tuesday I made a batch of veggie sidedish (bell pepper, onion, summer squash, one packet of Lipton Recipe Secret herb & garlic blend, cumin to taste (~2 tsp?), chili powder to taste (~1/2 to 1 tsp?), some black pepper (~1/4 tsp?), and a cube of chicken bouillon dissolved in a bit of hot water) only I used up one of my leftover zucchini from the wine tasting in place of the yellow squash. Tonight I am making another batch -- this one's a bit larger than usual, since I needed to use up a pepper that had gone partially moldy so I filled in with a second pepper and then just upped the squash and onion to match.

I still have one zucchini left, which I think I will either stir-fry with some onion or perhaps slice and roast in the oven with a bit of olive oil and salt. Maybe seasoned salt? I think I have some seasoned salt that Mom gave me a while back and which I've never had any use for...

But that's tomorrow's problem. I will leave it for tomorrow's me to resolve. *wry*

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: mellowmellow
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
In the interest of having small things I can finish at reasonable speed while I work on longer projects (at the moment, my super-delayed fic for [personal profile] mme_hardy), it's time once again for a mini-ficlet prompt meme! And as with the last round, I'm using my Ladies Bingo card, so this is for stories about female characters and their relationships with each other.

Here is a link to my Ladies Bingo card.

For those who prefer lists to graphics, the open squares are: Noble Gases; Wibbly-Wobbly-Timey-Wimey: Time Travel; A Member of the Underclass (Urchins / Beggar / Outcast); Farce; The Bridge; Pets; Hurt / Comfort; Underage; Touch; Magical Creatures; The Company of Strangers; WILD CARD; Worst Case Scenario; Supernatural Happenings; Last Times / Farewells; Illness; Siblings; Someone Gains Purpose; Vengeance; Use of Symbolism

If you would like to claim any of the open squares, please choose a prompt from the card, add two or three female characters plus a scenario, and I will write you a ficlet of at least 500 words.

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Obligatory small print:

1. I reserve the right to veto any fandoms I don't know well enough to write, and ask you to please try again.

2. Crossover prompts are fine. On the off chance that anyone wants to read a snippet from any of my original worlds and stories, ofic prompts are also fine.

3. In this challenge, WILD CARD means to grab any prompt from the complete Ladies' Bingo prompt list. I reserve the right to veto any such wild card substitutions and ask you to please try again.

4. I am cool with both gen and shippy prompts. Just be aware that I'm not great at romance, so if you request shipfic, it will come out fairly low-key and may end up as ambiguous gen anyway. (Porn is unlikely, though you can always ask.)

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Fill List

1. Room for Coincidence: Roommates / Sharing a Room - MCU - Nakia (Black Panther) and Natasha Romanoff, also known as Black Widow (Iron Man). For [personal profile] pole_dancer, 700 words.

2. Free Time and Other Unicorns: MCU Defenders, Colleen and Misty (or your choice of MCU Defenders-verse ladies if those ones don't click), "Magical Creatures." Finding some kind of unexpected magic animal, or having to fight one. For [personal profile] sholio, 1,675 words.

3. What Wind Is to Fire: Narnia, noble gases, some combination of Susan, Lucy, Aravis, and Lasaraleen. For [personal profile] alexseanchai, 1,375 words.

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Current Location: not the irs
Current Mood: boredbored