Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction

Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction


General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by writing date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Content/Warning Policy: 1) I am not consistent about warnings! I use them when I remember, for a few relatively broad categories of potentially problematic content, but if something is off-page, non-explicit, or generally backgrounded, I probably won't think to note it in the metadata. Read at your own risk! 2) The things I try to warn for are explicit sex, rape, murder, torture, cannibalism, incest, depression/suicide, familial dysfunction, and occasionally also societal dysfunction (aka dystopia). Sometimes I just slap a general content warning on all my fic for a given fandom and don't label each individual fic. I also don't generally warn for violence, unless the violence in a fic is dramatically out-of-step with the violence in its source canon. 3) I don't use any content rating system unless I'm posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I find movie-style ratings counter-intuitive when applied to written fiction, and not particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I already note in the metadata.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else (except Tumblr; fic content there is just a mirror of fic content here), read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

MCU fanfic (assorted)

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, The Dark Is Rising, the Darkangel trilogy, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(Currently includes: American Gods, An Ash-Blonde Witch, Arthurian Mythology, Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Charlotte's Web, Code Geass, Death Note, Discworld, Doctor Who, Girl Genius, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Hamilton, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Howl's Moving Castle, Labyrinth, Lord of the Rings, Lucifer (comics), Mad Max: Fury Road, Merlin, the Oz books, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Sailor Moon, Saiyuki, Seaward, Shakespeare, Star Wars, Tam Lin (Pamela Dean), Vorkosigan Saga, White Collar, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers and fusions under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them. Currently includes: the Anita Blake series, ASoIaF, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Black Jewels series, BtVS, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chronicles of Narnia, the Darkangel trilogy, The Dark Is Rising, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Ender's Game, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Hikaru no Go, Homestuck, Inception, the Indiana Jones movies, Leverage, Lucifer (comics), MCU (various), Merlin, Naruto, the Oz books, Sandman, Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek: AOS, Vorkosigan Saga, Welcome to Night Vale, and a couple other things that only appear in memes rather than actual fic.)



These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction


My various bingo cards: Cotton Candy Bingo, Round One (blackout!); Cotton Candy Bingo, Round Two (blackout!); Genprompt Bingo, Round 12 (blackout!); Genprompt Bingo, Round 15; Ladies Bingo; Daredevil Bingo; Domestic AU Prompt List

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[Fic] "Pay Attention (The Peacock and the Pickpocket)" -- Rusty Quill Gaming

Apparently remixes have been revealed? Cool. :)

Here is the story I wrote:

Pay Attention (The Peacock and the Pickpocket) (1583 words) by Elizabeth Culmer
Fandom: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Sasha Racket & Oscar Wilde
Characters: Oscar Wilde (Rusty Quill Gaming), Sasha Racket
Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Summary: The first true illusion Oscar creates is a peacock in his tutor's window. The bird cocks its glorious, brilliant head, and adjusts its feathers. Then it screams like a dying train.


It's a remix of The Pickpocket and the Peacock, by [archiveofourown.org profile] Nemainofthewater, which is about Sasha spotting and occasionally spying on Wilde over the years and then takes a sharp turn away from canon to set up what looks like a really intriguing spy!AU.

My remix is not terribly deep; I just flipped the POV so it's about Wilde. Well, and I came up with a new opening scene because Wilde's not even aware of Sasha in the opening scene of the original story, and I changed the closing scene for... honestly, a combination of thematic reasons and because if I'd mirrored the original story more closely I could just tell the remix was going to spiral off into that implied spy!AU and I did NOT have time to write a novella-length secret agent adventure. *wry* But fundamentally it's a straightforward POV flip, plus a bit of a thematic musing on the sleight-of-hand, attention-directing (or attention-misdirecting) skills that Sasha and Wilde share, though they approach that skillset from very different directions.

Also, this is a pretty niche fandom! I expect most readers of this journal have no idea what on earth is going on here. To very briefly summarize, Rusty Quill Gaming is an actual-play RPG podcast, whose main story is a Pathfinder game in a homebrew setting that's sort of a steampunk D&D alternate 19th century, wherein a small band of mercenaries get hired for a job that turns out to be a LOT bigger than they anticipated. Sasha Racket is a rogue from Other London (the remnants of the original London that got flooded/destroyed during a pre-canon steampunk disaster and then buried/built over by the posh Upper London) and Oscar Wilde (not the actual historical Wilde, but based on him) is an agent for the Meritocratic world government, and also a bard specializing in illusions.

You should give the podcast a try -- it's frequently hilarious, often moving, occasionally heartbreaking, and always entertaining. If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (comment count unavailable comments)
sun on the water

daily update, Tuesday Oct. 20

Things I have done so far today:

1. Watered my houseplants.

2. Deposited a check (combined summer and annual bonus from the rental company; we are only getting one this year on account of the recession)

3. Paid a parking ticket because I don't have the spoons to go through the annoyance of disputing it, even though it's ultimately the fault of the Casella garbage truck for blocking the entrance to the parking lot I use on Mondays. There is NO REASON they need to block the entire driveway, yet they do exactly that every goddamn week. *shakes fist at the universe*

I parked in the truck zone in front of the rental office for literally two minutes so I could run in and tell Mom Boss I'd be a little late on account of garbage truck, and when I got back out, poof, ticket. *headdesk*

4. Refilled my Celexa prescription.

5. Got a flu shot. \o/

6. Bought groceries.

7. Bought some nice new notecards.

8. Ordered stamps online.

9. Wrote a bunch of church-related cards that I should have dealt with last week, but spoons are variable and I let that slide in favor of more urgent tasks. I will mail the cards tomorrow.


Now I need to put away last week's clean laundry and get some writing done. I think that will make for a good, productive day. :) If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (comment count unavailable comments)
sun on the water

grrr argh

Downstairs Neighbor S has decorated the house porch for Halloween.

Mostly this is fine -- pumpkins, plastic spiders, fake spiderwebs, a plastic ghost on the door, etc. I'm cool with all that!

The problem is the three motion-activated plastic witch figurines. When something moves within a certain radius of them (or maybe just in front of them; I haven't done rigorous tests) they light up in flashing colors and emit a really annoying cackle.

Even that's not usually too bad, but tonight Downstairs Neighbor S left one of the witches on the porch railing facing outward toward a bush.

It has been raining lightly but steadily for the past twenty minutes.

The rain makes the bush leaves bob.

The motion of the leaves sets off the witch.

The witch cackles nonstop.

Right outside my front window.


I went outside and switched her off. If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (comment count unavailable comments)
sun on the water

Mini-Ficlet Prompt Meme: because long!fic is horrible and my brain is dry

In the interest of having small things I can finish at (hopefully!) reasonable speed while I work on longer and long-delayed projects, it's time once again for a mini-ficlet prompt meme! I'm using my Ladies Bingo card, so this is for stories about female characters and their relationships with each other.

Here is a link to my Ladies Bingo card.

I am preemptively vetoing several prompts this time around, because reasons. (...Okay, I just want to fill in as many squares as possible without completing a single bingo. I have a Thing about patterns, shut up.)

You CANNOT ask for: Supernatural Happenings; Pets; Vengeance; Worst Case Scenario; Farce

You CAN ask for: Wibbly-Wobbly-Timey-Wimey: Time Travel; A Member of the Underclass (Urchins / Beggar / Outcast); Hurt / Comfort; Underage; Last Times / Farewells; Illness

If you would like to claim any of the open squares, please choose a prompt from the available list, and add two or three female characters plus a scenario. I will then write you a ficlet of at least 500 words.


Obligatory small print:

1. I reserve the right to veto any fandoms I don't know well enough to write, and ask you to please try again.

2. Crossover prompts are fine. On the off chance that anyone wants to read a snippet from any of my original worlds and stories, ofic prompts are also fine.

3. I am cool with both gen and shippy prompts. Just be aware that I'm not great at romance, so if you request shipfic, it will come out fairly low-key and may end up as ambiguous gen anyway. (Porn is unlikely, though you can always ask.) If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (comment count unavailable comments)

[Fic] "Mountain Dream" -- original

Summary: Mountain dreams were meant for the young, those old enough to no longer be children, but young enough to not yet have children of their own. Navila got hers when she was twenty-seven: married, widowed, and mother of three. [455 words]

Note: Written 10/16/20 in response to the [community profile] fan_flashworks challenge: nightmare.

As per the community rules, this post will just be a link to the fic text on [community profile] fan_flashworks until the current challenge closes on October 20, at which point I will move the actual ficlet over here. But for now, a link:

Mountain Dream


For reference, this is loosely set in an original world that I don't think I've ever talked about on this journal. It exists mostly in a litany of deities and some fragmentary worldbuilding.

The litany is as follows:

These are the gods of Tenich Valley:
Corgan who sits in her cave alone
Hopal in whose footsteps flowers grow
Elisu who is brother to water
Najia who brings the night
Merimadhu who speaks with birds
Morgada whose smile is like the sun
Sennone by whose hand the hungry are fed
And Kemmess who walks among the stars

As for the worldbuilding, for now I'll just say that Kemmess walking among the stars is 100% literal and not a trick necessarily restricted to deities, and Simjia Mountain is very important to the people of the Valley for reasons that merely start with Corgan's cave being set near its peak. The other symbolically important mountain is the Pilgrim's Horn; together, those peaks flank the main pass into the Valley.

And someday, I will actually work out a proper story to set in this world because dammit, the worldbuilding is really cool and it would be a crying shame not to do something equally cool to showcase it. *wry* If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (comment count unavailable comments)
sun on the water

wherein Liz writes things

During the brief parts of Thursday I was awake for, I spent some time poking at "The Guardian in Spite of Herself" chapter 18, which was... interesting, I guess? Turns out the bit I was stressed over last year wound up being nothing, but during the hiatus I have completely forgotten all my minor OCs who make up the trade caravan so my new text is full of stuff like [name] and [some person] and [somebody else], which I will fix up later, after I roll some dice to figure out who died. (Possibly literally roll dice. That's how I did chuunin exam matchups way back in "Apartment Manager," with a few tweaks for narrative/political viability, so I know it's a workable method.)

Anyway, the next few paragraphs are mostly going to be a bunch of triage and corpse disposal, because I'm writing about broken social systems as much as I'm writing action/adventure, and messy aftermaths are an important part of that.


Tonight I wrote a little original fiction snippet for [community profile] fan_flashworks which I'll make a proper link post to tomorrow.

For now, I am off to bed. If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (comment count unavailable comments)
sun on the water

wherein Liz is ill

I woke up around 3am last night and spent the next hour and a half in the bathroom, which is all the detail anyone needs about that. Ugh.

Anyway, I called in sick and slept until 1:30pm, which is a pretty good sign that I needed the sleep. I have continued to have general abdominal discomfort off and on, though fortunately no recurrence of the interminable bathroom shenanigans. Thank you Imodium?

I have also had general exhaustion/weakness and some minor joint shakiness, plus the inexplicable sensation of being freezing cold while outside in ~70 Fahrenheit weather, so yeah. Staying home was a good call.

Now I think I will go take another Imodium and some ibuprofen and attempt a nap. If I'm still feeling moderately okay around 9pm, I may venture some soup for dinner.

I have no idea what caused this, but ye gods and little fishes, the human digestive tract is nasty when it gets disrupted. If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (comment count unavailable comments)
sun on the water

a day of many and various emotions

Things I did today:

1. Turned in my absentee ballot at the county board of elections office. Sometimes it is very convenient to live in the county seat. :)

2. Took video of three apartments for virtual tours.

3. Bleepity bleep bleep bleeping advertisement text.

4. Other apartment leasing stuff. Trust me, you don't care about the details.

5. Church board of trustees meeting. (Word of advice: never agree to serve on nonprofit governing bodies. Especially do not agree to be an officer on a governing body. This brought to you by trying to take minutes for a Zoom meeting while on a laptop with a single small screen; I do not recommend the experience.)

6. Read my Remix Revival gift fic, which is great and you should go read it too -- along with the rest of the exchange archive. :D

7. Listened to Rusty Quill Gaming episode 174.




*bites nails for next month* If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (comment count unavailable comments)

[FIc] "Between the Saltwater and the Sea-Strand" -- Naruto

Summary: Yukiko and Kakashi run an undercover mission in the coastal port of Asase during monsoon season. Rain can make anyone philosophical. Part of the Apartment Manager AU, set after The Guardian in Spite of Herself and before An Unorthodox Pedagogical Approach. (3,515 words)

Note: Written for [personal profile] warriordrgnmage, in response to the prompt: Naruto: Hatake Kakashi/Ayakawa Yukiko set in the Way of the Apartment Manager Series Timeline. For the Bingo card: Monsoon. It is also a fill for the [community profile] genprompt_bingo square monsoon.

For obvious reasons, Yukiko and Kakashi are using fake names while undercover. Yukiko is Aoi, and Kakashi is Hyoujin.

Also, you may notice that this is gen! See, while I am perfectly cool with people shipping Yukiko with Kakashi, that is 100% never going to become Apartment Manager canon, for many, many reasons. If anyone wants a shippy AU, you are welcome to write it yourself, because I flat-out CANNOT. Seriously, even if I tried, you wouldn't want the results. They would be awful. Trust me on that.

[ETA: the AO3 crosspost is now up!]

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Well, that took significantly longer than it needed to, but I won in the end. \o/

Also, Kuwa Natsume (from Whose Allegiance Is Ruled by Expedience) is now officially part of Apartment Manager continuity. You're welcome. :D If you want to comment on this post, you can do so over here on Dreamwidth, where there are currently (comment count unavailable comments)