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Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
01 January 2037 @ 01:01 am
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Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction
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FANFICTION:

General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by writing date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Content/Warning Policy: 1) I am not consistent about warnings! I use them when I remember, for a few relatively broad categories of potentially problematic content, but if something is off-page, non-explicit, or generally backgrounded, I probably won't think to note it in the metadata. Read at your own risk! 2) The things I try to warn for are explicit sex, rape, murder, torture, cannibalism, incest, depression/suicide, familial dysfunction, and occasionally also societal dysfunction (aka dystopia). Sometimes I just slap a general content warning on all my fic for a given fandom and don't label each individual fic. I also don't generally warn for violence, unless the violence in a fic is dramatically out-of-step with the violence in its source canon. 3) I don't use any content rating system unless I'm posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I find movie-style ratings counter-intuitive when applied to written fiction, and not particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I already note in the metadata.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else (except Tumblr; fic content there is just a mirror of fic content here), read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

MCU fanfic (assorted)

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, The Dark Is Rising, the Darkangel trilogy, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(Currently includes: American Gods, An Ash-Blonde Witch, Arthurian Mythology, Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Charlotte's Web, Code Geass, Death Note, Discworld, Doctor Who, Girl Genius, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Hamilton, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Howl's Moving Castle, Labyrinth, Lord of the Rings, Lucifer (comics), Mad Max: Fury Road, Merlin, the Oz books, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Sailor Moon, Saiyuki, Seaward, Shakespeare, Star Wars, Tam Lin (Pamela Dean), Vorkosigan Saga, White Collar, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers and fusions under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them. Currently includes: the Anita Blake series, ASoIaF, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Black Jewels series, BtVS, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chronicles of Narnia, the Darkangel trilogy, The Dark Is Rising, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Ender's Game, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Hikaru no Go, Homestuck, Inception, the Indiana Jones movies, Leverage, Lucifer (comics), MCU (various), Merlin, Naruto, the Oz books, Sandman, Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek: AOS, Vorkosigan Saga, Welcome to Night Vale, and a couple other things that only appear in memes rather than actual fic.)

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ORIGINAL FICTION:

These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction

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My various bingo cards: Cotton Candy Bingo, Round One (blackout!); Cotton Candy Bingo, Round Two (blackout!); Genprompt Bingo, Round 12 (blackout!); Genprompt Bingo, Round 15; Ladies Bingo; Daredevil Bingo; Domestic AU Prompt List

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
19 July 2019 @ 10:10 pm
A new AO3 data meme going around, wherein you list your top fic (by number of kudos) for each year.

This is a little tricky for me since I backdate works, but I'm going to start with 2009 since that was the first year AO3 existed. Also the only things I actually posted there in that year were my Yuletide fics, so even though I have backdated-to-2009 words with more kudos, the answer I'm going with is:

2009: Loving Bonds (The Dark Is Rising, only 29 kudos, but 17 comment threads -- note that kudos did not exist at this time)

The next two years get slightly fuzzy, because I still wasn't posting anything to AO3 except challenge responses (aka Remix and Yuletide) for a while and I legit do not remember exactly when I started to post other stuff there, though I think I may have crossposted a few things during this period for idiosyncratic reasons? But it turns out that my most kudosed fic for 2010 was part of Remix Redux and was therefore actually put on AO3 at the time it claims to have been posted there, and only one backdated-to-2011 work has more kudos than one of my 2011 Yuletide fics, so.

2010: What Isn't Broken (Can Still Be Fixed) (Naruto, 1,323 kudos -- even though I think kudos still weren't a thing when this was posted! It remains my most popular fic on the site, actually; the Claw liked that story, for whatever reason)

2011: As You Wish (The Dark Is Rising, 170 kudos -- I am fairly sure kudos had been rolled out by this point?)

2012 is when I started to post all my work to AO3 -- this is because I started writing for Homestuck and ff.net disallows both funky text effects and chat-fics -- so from here on out there's no need to worry about tweaking for some semblance of historical relevance.

2012: Problems and Solutions (All Things in Time) (Chronicles of Narnia/Stargate: SG-1, 576 kudos)

2013: Take Deeper Roots (Chronicles of Narnia/Naruto, 235 kudos)

2014: Giant Robot Mayhem Doesn't Happen in a Day (Homestuck, 434 kudos)

2015: Broken If Revealed (Daredevil, 297 kudos)

2016: The Courting Dance (Chronicles of Narnia, 160 kudos -- this is a chaptered fic started in 2010 (I backdated the earlier chapters, though I don't remember when I actually posted them), but I finished it in 2016 for WIP Big Bang, so whatever)

2017: Maboroshi (Naruto, 246 kudos)

2018: Edmund and Ginny Go to Harfang (Chronicles of Narnia/Harry Potter, 131 kudos -- this is a WIP collection of loosely connected drabbles that I add "chapters" to at random intervals. Actually, it occurs to me that I should poke at my bingo cards to see if something jumps out at me for the next installment...)

2019 so far: The Guardian in Spite of Herself (Naruto, 310 kudos -- another WIP that I should get back to working on, whoops!)

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
 
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
18 July 2019 @ 09:46 pm
Today I caught up on some backlogged things at work, since New Hire 4 has been on summer vacation this week. Then I was just... very slow about getting other things done. I dunno, it was hot and humid and the AC couldn't keep up and I just didn't want to think about anything, particularly. *sigh* Well, I did get through the backlog and about half of one of the two Tasks that Aunt Boss left for me, so.

When I got home this evening, I did a 95% thorough weeding of my back porch planters. In most cases this was pretty simple since I've started catching up to myself on that, but I'd been kind of half-assing the chard-and-carrot planters so they were a bit of a nightmare and the reason my weeding is still 5% incomplete. On the bright side, I remembered to apply bug spray before heading out the door, so I didn't get eaten alive by mosquitoes! \o/ I also took a cold shower once I came in, because A) I wanted to clean off the bug spray and B) I felt like half-melted butter, which is not a pleasant bodily sensation.

In general botanical news, I would like to report that three of my over-wintered peppers have bloomed and are bearing fruit, and I think the remaining two will pull themselves together soonish. None of my tomatoes have flowered yet, which is peculiar but I live in hope. And my eggplant has not only bloomed (they make lovely lavender flowers; who knew?) but is growing a cute little eggplant and may produce a second flower. Hurrah for the miracle of life! :)

And now I think I shall go to bed, because it's still hot and humid and my AC isn't coping any better than the one at the rental company office, so the earlier I start my poor-quality sleep, the better. *sigh*

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: tiredtired
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
I've been plonking a bit at two separate old Homestuck WIPs -- as previously mentioned, one is a kinda-sorta songfic about Roxy and Rose and their respective approaches to motherhood and stuff (does it really count as songfic if the characters are actually singing the songs in the fic text?), and the other is Nepeta ♥ Terezi dreambubble shenanigans.

The trouble I'm having with the first is mostly song choice, because while there are so many songs about roses and people named Rose and roses as metaphors for love and what have you, there are not a lot of songs about people named Roxy, nor about being an absent mother. I mean, there's Chicago, and I am using that, but still. *sigh*

The problem with the second is that I started writing it in response to a specific kinkmeme prompt (which is not a kink at all, really, but a cute romance trope), but I'm having some trouble working from the setup to the actual prompt element. I know WHY the emotional reaction in question will occur, but I'm not quite sure how to get from point G to point K, as it were.

Blargh.

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In non-writing news, tomorrow I will A) attempt to give blood in the morning, and B) attend my first Board of Trustees meeting as a member in the evening. Fingers crossed that both go well!

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: mellowmellow
 
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
12 July 2019 @ 08:36 pm
Summary: SBURB is not turning out anything like you'd hoped, and your game session may be broken. Which is a problem, because you can't go back to Earth -- last you checked, it's busy being an apocalyptic wasteland -- and judging by your most recent dreams, the rest of the Medium beyond your little Incipisphere is an equally apocalyptic wasteland of ghosts and horrorterrors. The only way out is through. You have to win the game.

Winning SBURB requires frogs.

Note: I started this fic way back in 2012, hit Jade's horrorterror dreams, and had no idea where to go from there. Last week it occurred to me that actually the horrorterror dreams made a perfectly reasonable ending, provided I filled in a missing middle scene, established an emotional/thematic through-line, and tweaked stuff until the new parts played nice with the old ones. So I did. :) [2,325 words]

[ETA: the slightly revised final version is now up on AO3!]

Frog HuntCollapse )

If anyone has constructive commentary, I am all ears! Also I am going to bed soon, because being awake is overrated and also I took a Benadryl in order to eat a BLT for dinner, so, you know, probably better to lie down than to slowly drift off in front of my computer. *wry*

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: mellowmellow
 
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
11 July 2019 @ 08:11 pm
The finger-exercises seem to have unstuck my brain -- thank you to everyone who left a prompt!

Anyway, rather than dive back into the fic I was fighting (and risk getting jammed up all over again), I have been poking at some old Homestuck WIP oneshots, in hopes of getting them off my hard drive and no longer lurking vaguely and accusingly in the back of my mind. *wry*

And today I finished one! It's a rough draft (dealing with Jade, Dave, and the Genesis Frog ectobiology quest), and needs a fair bit of tweaking before I'll be willing to post it, but still: beginning, middle, end, all there. \o/

I'll let it sit overnight and tidy it up tomorrow. Then I think I'll poke either the technically-a-songfic about Roxy-and-Rose parallels in failed motherhood, or the one where dead versions of Nepeta and Terezi get together in the dreambubbles. :)

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In unrelated news, I think I have figured out a way around my aversion to weeding and other yardwork: do it in 15-minute sessions with a defined end point. This is hard for me because once I get into a rhythm, I want to keep going and Do All The Things, but facing the prospect of Doing All The Things is very draining so I tend not to start in the first place. If I only have to face 15 minutes with a defined specific task -- weed the planters, say, or weed the patch between the carport and the first raspberry trellis -- it's much easier to talk myself into just going out and doing "a little".

This means that instead of failing at the huge overall task, feeling like crud, and being even less motivated to tackle the task as it grows with every passing day (ugh, weeds), I am succeeding at a small subsection which I have redefined as an individual task. And if you add enough subsections together, the big task gets done. :D

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
 
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
So, back in April 2017 I got a performative outrage troll who left nasty comments on nine out of ten chapters of "Tides". In February 2018 the same anon left a nasty comment on "Rituals".

Today the anon returned and, either having forgotten that they'd previously commented on Rituals or frustrated at my lack of reaction, left another nasty comment on ff.net.

To wit: the comment in questionCollapse )

...

I mean, on the one hand these are hilarious and always make me smile at their pointless, futile rage, but on the other hand I'm starting to get genuinely worried for this anon. They have been doing this kind of close hate-reading for over two years and haven't grown out of their poisonous views at all. That has to be emotionally exhausting. They are obviously not okay.

I wish they'd leave contact info so I could tell them to please stop reading stuff they hate because that's not healthy and I want them to feel good instead of shaking with outrage.

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Current Location: ithaca, ny
Current Mood: confusedbemused
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
08 July 2019 @ 03:17 pm
Random nice but weird things that have happened to me recently:

1. A few days ago I got a letter from the Red Cross saying that they'd tested my blood (routine screening, done for all blood donors) and it turns out I have never caught/been exposed to cytomegalovirus (CMV). Which is apparently a flu-like virus that something like 85% of people have antibodies for by age 40. It's mostly harmless to adults, but can apparently do a real number on infants, so people who have no CMV antibodies are important blood donors for neonatal patients.

The Red Cross already really like me because I'm O+ and donate several times a year. Now they really really like me.

Which is nice! But also weird, because if CMV is a flu-like virus, that to me implies that it's an upper respiratory thing... and I am so susceptible to upper respiratory viruses that it would be difficult to exaggerate. So for me to somehow NOT have caught this one is frankly absurd. *wry*

2. A few months back my bank ran a little "contest" where anyone who took two free online financial education courses (which were ~5 minutes a pop) was entered into a drawing for a $50 prepaid Amazon gift card. I figured what the heck, financial literacy is a good thing in general, and ran through four or five that looked useful. I assumed that was the end of it, because I never win things... but apparently this time my luck changed. Because this morning I got an email saying I'd won, and should come pick up my card sometime in the next couple weeks.

So that's two nice but weird things in my recent life. :)

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
 
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
06 July 2019 @ 03:05 pm
[personal profile] joyeuce01 said: Mentors - Vorkosigan - Alys, Ekaterin, Laisa. Or Gregor and the next generation (250 words)

Note: I am not 100% certain the timeline checks out for this to be set at the end of Captain Vorpatril's Alliance, but I think the twins should still be toddlers at that point.

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Aim High
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"It occurs to me," Gregor said to Alys Vorpatril as he watched Miles's children giggling and poking at each other as they clambered around his office, "that being an uncle or aunt is a different skill set from being a parent."

"Not entirely different," Alys said. "But yes, one does get to return them at the end of the day. That's much more restful than having sole responsibility for their futures!"

Gregor hummed in agreement. "However, I can't decide whether that distance makes it more or less vital to act as a good example. On the one hand, I'm not around them nearly as much as Miles and Ekaterin. On the other, I serve as an important data point that either reinforces or contradicts whatever lessons they attempt to teach."

Alys shrugged and bent down to nudge Helen Natalia away from her attempt to dismember the cords to Gregor's console. "Be yourself and that will mostly take care of itself. That was my approach, and I dare say you and Miles turned out at least as well as Ivan."

Gregor considered his cousin, who'd managed to find happiness and escape Imperial politics as close to completely as possible for a man with his genealogy, and allowed himself a wry smile. "To have my nephew and niece turn out at least as well as Ivan sounds like a decent goal to me."

Then he knelt and scooped up Aral Alexander before he could succeed at the cord-destruction his sister had begun.

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End of Ficlet

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And now back to pretending to work. *wry*

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
Elizabeth Culmer, only a *little* bit crazy...
[personal profile] wistfulmemory said: Plays and Scripts, with Cimorene and Mendanbar watching a play that was written in their honor. (125 words)

Note: ;)

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Interrogating the Text from the Wrong Perspective
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Halfway through the performance, Mendanbar leaned toward Cimorene and murmured into her ear, "In theory, I'm all in favor of stories where a princess saves a prince rather than the stereotypical way around. In practice, this is excruciating."

"I can't figure out what she sees in him," Cimorene agreed. "At least with paper-thin female characters, you know that the male characters only care about their appearance, but a woman who's intelligent enough to buck tradition ought to have the self-confidence not to sell herself short when looking for a partner."

"Oh, I don't know," Mendanbar said, suddenly seeing the play in a new light. "Shouldn't equality mean that women get to be shallow too? Eye candy for all!"

Cimorene bopped him with her program notes.

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End of Ficlet

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Current Location: rental company office
Current Mood: amusedamused